My mom's against me getting married to him

Dear Diana,
I'm 18 years old. I'm having an affair with a guy who stays in a red light area. He belongs to a middle-class family and they are not ready to shift their house. I come from a well-to-do family. I don't have any siblings and my dad passed away when I was just two years old.

So it's just me and my mum. My mom is not ready for my marriage because of his family background and the fact that he stays in a bad locality. She also doesn't like his mom. I love my mom and that guy too.

I don't want to lose either of them. If I married him, I will lose my mom. But we love each other and can't stay away from each other. What should I do?

Name withheld on request

Dear Friend,
What is the r-e-a-l problem? Is it that he belongs to a middle-class family? The locality that he lives in? Or that your mother doesn't like his mom? Because these are not real problems. The real problem would be if your mom didn't like the boy. If she likes him, then you can make this work.

The boy can move into your home after you get married. Or if he and his family object to that, then both of you could rent a place in a nice area. Tell your mom that she doesn't have to meet his mom or interact with his family at all. You have to maintain a relationship with your in-laws.

Your mom is not obliged to do so. Make her understand that you love her, but you also love this boy, and that you need her blessings and best wishes. I am sure she will understand.

Having said that, 18 is no age to get married. I would say wait at least till you are 24.u00a0 I shudder to think what my life would've been like, if I had married the man I was madly in love with and I believed I couldn't live without, when I was 18.u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0

She only wants casual sex from me...

Dear Diana,
I recently broke up with my gal, because she said she was with me only for sex. However, a few days ago, she said she wants to continue our sexual relationship. But I am dating someone else now and I don't want to cheat on her. What should I do?

Armaan

Dear Armaan,
Don't ruin your chances of something special with the girl you are dating because your ex now wants to reconnect with you.u00a0 Your previous girl has made it clear that she is only interested in casual sex, and that offer will always be there. Don't cheat on your new girl.u00a0

We wish to get married but our families don't...

Dear Diana,
I love a guy who is very understanding, loving and has all the qualities I would expect in my husband. He too loves me. We understand each other very well and always take the time to share our thoughts. We wish to get married but we know our families won't allow an inter-caste marriage.

So whenever we discuss 'marriage' we end up fighting. He wants me to get married without my family's permission and I can't do that. Family is extremely important for me. What to do? Speaking about this with my parents will destroy our relationship for sure.

Nimisha

Dear Nimisha,
Most people wait years to find their soul mates. Someone they can relate to, talk to and want to spend their lifetime with. You've found one, and you are wondering if you should settle down with him? I think as long as you are sure that he is the guy, you should get married to him.

Your family might be upset for a while, but they will come around. They always do. If you don't marry him, you will always regret it, and then down the years end up hating your parents. Especially if you end up marrying the man who they think is right for you and you never learn to love him. The man you marry is someone YOU have to live with for the rest of your life. Don't let anyone else decide who he should be.u00a0