My neighbour has a crush on me

Dear Diana,
I am a 19-year-old studying in college. I have been observing my neighbour since last year. I know for sure that she loves me. She is in in class 12. She keeps on looking at me whenever she passes by. That look in her eyes says it all. I don't want to take any impulsive step. We just exchange glances. How do I get to know her. Even when I am on the balcony or at the window, she looks at me. How do I befriend her and know her true feelings. I am sure she has a crush on me.
-u00a0DJ


Illustration/Satish Acharya

Dear DJ,
She is your neighbour, not an alien that you are finding it so difficult to befriend her. You say you can see the love for you in her eyes, so why not strike a conversation? Next time she passes by, just smile. See how she reacts. Going by what you say, chances are that she, too, will smile back. Both of you are in college, so there is no dearth of subjects to talk about. Another option is to hang out with another neighbour who knows her, he or she then can formally introduce you to her. Be slow but and don't make it as if she is dying for you. Remember you are neighbours too, so there should be no reason for discontentment among your and her folks.

My guy is revealing all my secrets

Dear Diana,
When I talk to my guy I pour my heart out as I feel comfortable with him. However, of late he has been teasing me and using whatever I have told him to embarrass me. He has told stuff that I have told him in confidence to others. Why is he behaving like this?
-u00a0Mitali

Dear Mitali,
By teasing and embarrassing you in front of others, he has betrayed your confidence and ruined your relationship with him. His action clearly shows that he doesn't have the emotional maturity needed for a relationship. It appears that he has no respect for you or your feelings. He is only creating more problems for you. He is not the guy for you. Treat him only as a friend and be careful what you say in front of him.u00a0u00a0u00a0

I am party-hearty, she is a homebody

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend is a homebody. She hates to go out and socialise. I am the opposite of her. I could party every night. We've been together 2 years and it takes a lot of cajoling for her to come out with me.u00a0 How can I get her out of the house to have a good night out?u00a0u00a0
- Outsider

Dear Mr Outsider,
You say that you are a party animal, so she must be having her own apprehensions of stepping out with you. May be she feels she would be uncomfortable in the situation. May be she fears how you will behave a few drinks down. Her problem could even be even bigger. She could be suffering from agoraphobia (fear of open or crowded spaces) or social phobia (fear of social interaction). In which case let her be. Be supportive and don't force her as it takes a while to overcome phobias. For starters why don't you take her for dinner to a restaurant which is not too crowded on a weekday. Initially visit places which are not crowded and then later introduce her to the bustling ones.

u00a0