My office colleague turns me on

Dear Diana,
One of my female colleagues in office is extremely attractive. She has an hour-glass figure and is well endowed. She wears these figure-hugging t-shirts and tight pants which accentuate her figure. I have to often interact with her. When she is explaining things to me, she bends over and her cleavage is on full show and through her skin-hugging pants I can see her panty lines! My problem is that I get turned on after seeing all this. Does she realise that she is turning me on? Or for her it is just the way she dresses? Another colleague tells me that she has always been dressing like this. She is very nice to me and talks sweetly but she is sexually distracting me. What do I do?
- Areen


Illustration/Satish Acharya

Dear Areen,
I must say that you have been minutely observing her! It may not be easy for you but be warned, do not cross the line as you risk your job. May be she does not realise it (that's her style perhaps?) or she dresses provocatively, just for a thrill out of the naughtiness aspect of it. Some people love to provoke a physical or emotional reaction in others, it sort of gives their ego a boost and they know they get talked about. So stay cool!u00a0 Don't overtly react as she may then make up claims about sexual harrassment which would put an end to your career. If you have male colleagues you trust, talk about it confidentially with them and ask them how they tackle the situation.u00a0 If you getting seriously worried about this woman's behaviour, talk to your boss. But it is best to let her just be.

She is very loud

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend has this habit of talking very loudly. When we were at a restaurant the other day, everyone was looking at us as they could hear her conversation. I have tried to tell her, but she does not listen. How do I explain to her?
- VK

Dear VK,
Tell her if you spoke in such a loud voice, how would she react? Make her aware that heads turn when she talks. Tape her voice one day and make her hear, she will then realise what it sounds like and that should silence her a bit. It is tough but give it a shot.

He just dumped me

Dear Diana,
Ever since I first saw him, I had this feeling that he liked me. We got talking and one thing led to another. The year that we spent together was magical. We were in love madly and deeply. For him, I was the woman of his dreams. But after going around for a year, he suddenly started distancing himself from me. I knew he was married but considering the time he gave me, I thought I had a chance with him. But then one fine day he suddenly realised that he had a family. Without giving any explanation, he dumped me. What do I do?
-u00a0Ashti

Dear Ashti,
You knew he was married, then why did you allow yourself into this mess? Did you not think or ask him where all this would lead to? It appears that he used you to have some fun outside marriage and to satisfy his sexual cravings. Once done, he dumped you. You played with fire and now you alone have to heal the wounds. This man was never going to be yours. Forget him and get on with your life. Next time play safe.