Perfect for being a friend, not good enough to date?

Dear Diana,
I am 25. And I am beginning to wonder why I am one of those guys who women only want to be friends with but not date.u00a0 Of my 10 closest friends, nine are female.

They all say I would be a great catch. I have asked them, seriously, what I could do to make myself more appealing to girls but they all say that I dress very well, am confident without being cocky, interesting, make people laugh and would be a wonderful, loving and caring partner because I am genuinely interested in people.

I'm not stunningly fit or hot but they all say I am good looking with good eyes and smile. Yet women only ever want to be really good friends with me, nothing more, and they all date total morons.

I'm fed up being an emotional crutch, the safe option for women as a friend. I want someone to love me more than like a brother. How can I fix this?
Aspi

Dear Aspi,
Women, unlike guys, are picky about male friends. Obviously if they all adore you, there is nothing wrong with you. And in my opinion most relationships start off with people being friends, so at least you are on the right track. Perhaps you just wait too long before youu00a0 make your move, and girls assume you're not interested, and then you get into the forever-friend zone.



Having nine female friends might not be that bad a thing. You probably can meet a lot of single women through them. You just need to be more assertive. Maybe you are making it too easy for them by listening endlessly to their problems and giving them advice on their boyfriends. Instead of approaching a woman in this way, call the shots first. Ask them out for coffee or a drink, and by all means talk about yourself a little bit.

There has to be balance. Go out with your friends to a bar/coffee shop/whatever you choose, find a girl that you fancy and walk up and introduce yourself. You need to flirt more and make it a little bit more obvious that you want more from a woman than just friendship, and do it sooner.

Should I reveal my sexuality?

Dear Diana,
I am 21. I have known I am bi-sexual foru00a0 years but have never told anyone. I met a really cool guy recently who is bi. I later found out that he had "come out" to hisu00a0 closest mates and even his parents. Should I do the same? And how do I do it? Name withheld on request

Dear Friend,
Gather them all up and say "I'm bi-sexual!" It might be easier to tell your friends, than your family. Tell people when it seems fitting. If you decide not tou00a0 tell your parents, that's okay too. Who knows whether you will eventually settle for a guy or a girl? So why stress them now?

My 'friend' betrayed me...

Dear Diana,
I am a 17-year old guy. I behave in an friendly manner with everybody, but some of them still betray me. Because of this, I am hesitant to make new friends or talk to people I don't know well. Recently, a guy rented an apartment in the society I live.

Since he was new to the area, I introduced him to all my friends and made sure he was comfortable. But as days passed, he became friends with a girl in the society. Now he is spreading false news about me and spoiling my name in the society. I am very fed-up and distressed. Please advise.
Ashwin

Dear Ashwin,
At 17, no one is a good judge of people. We've all wasted time and energy with people, who are not worthy of our attention. So instead of feeling betrayed, feel happy that you've gained an invaluable experience from life.u00a0 As for this new guy in your society, why bother about what he is saying about you?

That's his opinion. If he thinks you are a jackass, it doesn't make you one. And if people around believe him, then it's their loss. You are better off without such people.

It's a good thing you've realised what sort of person he is sooner than later. Never bother about what people are saying behind your back., The only people who matter are the ones who say things to your face. Ignore the rest.