29 October,2010 09:54 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
My girl is 29 years old, three years older than me. We are together for almost a year now. She is honest, loving and very moody. She said she was attracted to me first because of my maturity, but now she says I am immature. I have introduced her to my family and friends, but she isu00a0 very secretive about our relationship and is yet to introduce me to her friends.
u00a0
When I asked why, she said it was because I was unemployed. But then I got a very good job. She then said it was because I drink too much. I curbed my drinking habit, but she hasn't quit smoking despite my asking. She doesn't even talk to me freely when she is in her office or others are around.
Malcolm
Dear Malcolm,
You are not in the wrong at all. You have reason to worry if she won't introduce you to her friends and family. And she won't acknowledge your presence in her life, even at work. There is a chance she doesn't think her friends and family will approve of you. and if that isn't the reason, then perhaps she is hiding something. Whatever the case, such behaviour is not normal, and you should try and get to the bottom of this.
But clearly your past attempts have failed. And she has given you reasons, which you've worked on, but still she isn't ready to introduce you to her world. Unless she has decided it's time, or unless she is ready, there is little you can do about it.
Butu00a0 you can't commit and get married to a person who has secrets from you, or wants to keep you a secret. It's weird of her to say she wants to keep everyone guessing.u00a0 Make it clear that it is important for you to know her world and unless she gets comfortable with that idea, and lets you in, you cannot think of marriage.
I have to warn you to be very sure of what you are getting into. No point rushing into something and regretting later.u00a0u00a0u00a0
I like her, but she doesn't feel the same way
Dear Diana,
I'm 16 and for the past one month, I've been talking over the phone and texting a girl in my school almost daily. She is quite pretty, but I'm average looking. I told her that I have feelings for her, but she said she did not feel the same way. We still talk as much as we used to before. I cannot stop thinking about her. What should I do? Forgetting her is not an option.
Shantanu
Dear Shantanu,
Forgetting her is not an option for you. And dating you is not an option for her. So what next? Keep talking to her and texting her, and hope that she changes her mind about you, after some time has passed. Maybe she will develop a liking for you. Or maybe not. Looks are not important. Tons of average looking men are dating gorgeous women. At 16, you are not thinking of settling down anyway. Just enjoy her company.
I pushed her away, now I want her back!
Dear Diana,
I have been in a relationship with a girl for the past two years. We've fought, laughed and loved every single moment. One day, I felt she was cheating on me.
I confronted her about it and we broke up. Now I've realised I can't live without her. I want her back. I apologised to her and pleaded for her to forgive me and come back into my life. But she refused. She said she can't forget the things I told her and she can't trust me anymore. She said we could stay friends. Please help me get her back into my life.
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Well, you messed up. And now if you want to be in touch with her, it has to be on her terms. You should be happy she at least wants to be your friend.
Most girls wouldn't want to stay in touch with a guy who accuses them of two-timing him. It's a serious allegation. Not one you should make unless you know what you are talking about for sure. I can't help you get her back into your life.
It's upto you. Just keep telling her how you made a mistake, keep asking for her forgiveness, and show her that you care for her and will wait to get back into her good books. And pray hard that it happens.
