She is asking me for something I can't give!

She is asking me for something I can't give!

Dear Diana,
In the last seven years that I've known her, this would be the first time my live-in girlfriend has asked me for something. Unfortunately, it's something I cannot really give her. She wants to get pregnant and for us to have a baby together. Because of legal implications in the future should this relationship not work out, I have firmly refused. I told her that it was in our best interest as we haven't decided if we want to marry or not. We have a good thing going and am really not in the mood to jeopardise what we have. Make no mistake, we love each other like even a married couple wouldn't. But I'm just being reasonable. Is that so wrong? Why doesn't she

Nathan

Dear Nathan,
There are some thing you're sure about not doing. There are others you are sure about doing. You have to make a choice and live with it. If you say no to her now, she might make a decision impulsively to get impregnated through someone else.u00a0 Or if she knows any better, she might simply dump you. Heck, I know you sound damn reasonable but the bottomline's this: she has made up her mind. I think what's topmost on her mind is this: will he still love me even a year down the line given that we're not married? She won't understand for the very obvious reason that she has decided what she wants

Why the double standards?

Dear Diana,
Eight years ago, I met a girl while on a trip. We ended up spending a lot of time together, eventually even making out and one romantic evening, we had wild, passionate sex. I was besotted. Then she told me she was happily married and that what we shared was just that and nothing more. She wasn't ever going to leave her husband for me or any other man. Double standards, don't you think?u00a0
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Mihir

Dear Mihir,
Maybe this guy provides for her in every manner possible. Maybe, she just needs to do it with every guy she fancies, no strings attached. What can't you understand. She's okay with being adulterous as long as her husband never finds out (I assume he doesn't know about her extracurricular activities). I'm not saying that what she's doing is right, just that she's in her comfort zone and doesn't want things to change.

She went home... and changed!

Dear Diana,
My wife recently went home to her parents for a short visit. Upon her return, she started behaving quite differently. My wife is usually quite assertive and outspoken and yet very gentle and a pleasure to be around. When she came back home, she wasu00a0 reserved, quieter without a doubt, and most unfortunately, very irritable and cranky. I tried to get her to tell me what her problem was, but to no avail. I want my wife back the way she was!

Name withheld on request

Dear Friend,
Sit her down and ask her what the problem is. Surely, there's something at the back of her mind that she's keeping from you. Something is troubling her and eating away at her consciousness. So much so, it's affecting her general behaviour. If she doesn't agree to talking it out with you, get someone from your family (a confidante she might trust) to figure it out for you. I'm sure once the problem is taken care of, she will go back to being her regular, good ol' cheery self.