She is confused whether she wants to be with me...

Dear Diana,
I proposed to a girl u00a0three months ago and am still waiting for her answer. She initially didn't like me. As the days passed, she said she likes me and wants to accept my proposal. She had an affair before and she had a problem with the guy's family.


Illustration/ Satish Charya

That guy is not ready to leave his family for her. So she isn't going to take this further. But that guy still wants to continue this relationship and she hasn't told him 'no' categorically. She even talks to him everyday which means she is confused, right? She has asked me to wait for some time before she takes a firm decision. I certainly don't want to waste my life waiting for a girl who can't even make up her mind about whom she wants to spend her rest of life with. Her selection criteria is like that of a flowchart. Can you give me some advice?
Name withheld

Dear Friend,
This girl is using you as Option B. She has a guy who she wants to marry but he can't because of his family. So now she wants to keep you on standby. She is still in touch with the guy and hopes it will all work out well. But just in case it doesn't, she is keeping you hanging.

Please don't wait for her to pick you AFTER the other guy leaves. If she loves you and wants to be with you, she should do it now. Which she isn't doing, so be smart and leave her alone. Find a girl who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with her.

Too tall for his comfort

Dear Diana,
I am 5'9" tall and love to wear stilettos. My boyfriend is 6' tall and he hates me wearing them because then I look taller than him (only by an inch, though). I don't want to stop wearing them. What do I do?
Grace

Dear Grace,
Simple, wear your stilettos when he isn't around. Wear them when you go out with your friends. You can wear kitten heels when you are going out with your guy. It is a silly thing to stress over the length of your heels. It's a non-issue really.

My daughter's a romantic

Dear Diana,
My daughter is 16 and an avid fan of romance novels. She reads them late into the night and even deals with everyday situations by imagining how a character would deal with it. She keeps telling me that when she gets married, it will be to someone like those male characters she reads about ufffd chivalrous, understanding and brave.

I have tried to tell her that people like them don't exist, but she continues to have her head in the clouds. I am worried that when she comes face to face with reality later in life, she will be shattered. How do I make her understand?
Meena

Dear Meena,
I think all of us had our heads in the cloudsu00a0 when we were 16. It is normal. Don't worry, your daughter will experience life and learn the lessons that we all did, with experience. It is up to you to keep telling her about it and asking her to be on her guard.

But you cannot shield her from the hurt and disappointment she will experience as she realises that the world is not the wonderful place described in romance novels. She will have to go through the experiences herself. She will learn with time that not all guys are chivalrous, understanding and brave. She will also learn how to deal with them.

And of course, you will be there to hold her when she needs you. Maybe you can buy her some other books to read. Ones that open her eyes. The non-fiction kind.u00a0