She's a virgin... how to make her comfortable in bed?

30 April,2009 09:46 AM IST |   |  Diana

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She's a virgin... how to make her comfortable in bed?

Dear Diana,
I have been in a relationship with a girl for the past six years and by this year-end we plan to get married. I know she is a virgin and we have not had sex yet. She is a down-to-earth person and has a lot of doubts about this subject and always held back when it came to making out. She recently cleared her views about this topic with me and now she has a clear view on what it actually is. We are actually planning to have sex sometime this month-end before our marriage. How do I guide her? I have made out with an office colleague but as she wasn't a virgin, I did not face much of a problem and I know what I have to do. As my girl is a virgin, what precautions do I need to take other than using condoms as I know it is going to be painful for her and how do I make her comfortable in this entire situation.
u00a0
Nathan

Dear Nathan,
First things first focus on pleasuring her and putting her at ease. Make sure she is comfortable with the whole affair before you go ahead with her. This would be her first time, so make it a special affair she will remember forever do something romantic for her. Begin with foreplay and focus on pleasuring her erogenous zones so she doesn't have to endure any pain when you come to the actual act of penetration. Don't pressure yourself too much and when it comes to it, just go with the flow.

She's not interested in sex anymore

Dear Diana,
I am a 34-year-old who once enjoyed a happy married life. For the last two years now, I've not had any physical relationship with my wife. Every time I insist on it, she refuses saying she is not interested in sex any more. Any solutions?

Sumit

Dear Sumit,
Two years is indeed a long time. Why don't youu00a0 go for a marriage counselling session to figureu00a0 out why she's not that into you anymore. What's made her so frigid toward you. Is there something that you've been hising from her but suspect she knows? There could be more than one reason why she's behaving this way. Once you figure out what that is, you'll know what's triggering it.

Past pregnancy is clear and present problem

Dear Diana,
I've been in a relationship since last January. He was madly in love with me but I cheated him and took him for granted. For a year now, I've been 100 per cent committed to him and am madly in love with him. But now, he says he needs time. He often insults me and sometimes ignores me. I became pregnant in April and aborted the child. He gave me financial but not emotional support. He did not come to meet me even once in hospital. Now after getting pregnant, I cannot marry any other guy.

XYZ

Dear Friend,
You very clearly said that you cheated on him, so that might be playingon his mind if he knows. Demons like those rarely ever go away quietly. This is probably his way of reacting to things. About getting you pregnant, I think that's something that happens because both parties mutually decide to have unprotected sex. That's really not the brightest thing to do, if you don't plan on getting pregnant. In any case, while most prospective grooms would shy away after hearing about your past pregnancy, there are guys out there who won't really care what's in your past. Don't worry too much.

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