Suspicious ex has ruined my social confidence!

15 April,2011 08:08 AM IST |   |  Diana

I was in a relationship for seven months. We broke up because I was tired of him making me do things like not letting me go out or sometimes even speak to other boys


Dear Diana,
I was in a relationship for seven months. We broke up because I was tired of him making me do things like not letting me go out or sometimes even speak to other boys. He even stopped me from going out with friends. I've realised that it is difficult to socialise with guys after this but I do want a relationship. In any case, what guy wants a girl with no personality? What should I do to gain more confidence?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
You have it. It's just that you're probably having a hard time advertising it effectively. There is a fine three-way balance between showing your genuine self, personally working to constantly better yourself, and showing it in a way and at a rate that will intrigue guys without scaring them away. The only long-term solution is practice. Put yourself out there, and be willing to take risks.

Do guys respect girls who've never done it?

Dear Diana,
Is it true that guys actually respect girls who have never had sex or if they haven't done much with a guy?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Men and women are very different, both in our hardwiring and in our experiences. I believe the general perception guys have is that girls that can have self-control, respect for their bodies, and have high standards, are worthy of admiration.

Can guys marry wild women?

Dear Diana,
Do women who do wild things like drunkenly make out with friends or have casual flings that end in sex ufffd fuck buddies, if you willu00a0-- lose their virginity because all their friends were doing it and they felt left out? Or do they do it because one of their past relationships ends badly? Do they ever end up having happy relationships? Do guys expect such women to be more than sex objects to them? Can guys look past all that and want to marry such women?

Dwarkesh

Dear Dwarkesh,
When you're drunku00a0-- regardless of the fact that you may be a man or a womanu00a0-- you can get away with saying that you had no control over your faculties and that whatever happened, happened in the heat of the moment. While that's a feeble excuse to hide behind, it is worth understanding that you are being sexist when you assume that only women act promiscuously. Men do too and are as guilty of the same. And in that respect, while men are more in denial, women are more forgiving of indiscretions.

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