Wed a married man. Can't live with or without him!

Dear Diana,

I am a 22-year-old girl. I'm holding down a job and am studying at the same time. Two years ago, I met a married man, a father of a three-year-old. He is nice behaviour-wise and looks-wise also. Before meeting me, he was flirty but after meeting me, he gave it up. I teased him about it.

We become good friends. He was my boss that time. I left that job and was home for two months. We kept in touch through phone calls, SMSes and emails. Because of him, I even got a job in a good firm. Over time, we became close and even married. And maybe I was immature at the time.

Consider that he is 34 yrs old and truly loves me but as a woman I can't spoil another woman's life for my own happiness. And I do feel jealous when he talks about them. What should I do? I can neither live with him or without him. Help me get out of this rut.

Lavina

Dear Lavina,

You're young and seemingly independent. Why have you tied yourself down to a married man and at such a young age. He might be nice and a provider and he might even love you, but there's no guarantee that he will leave his family to be with you. He's 12 years older to you and over time, the age difference will show as will the pangs of being a distand part of his life.

You might feel guilty about making him be an adulterer with you, but at the end of it, it's done with. You are spoiling another woman's life along with your own. the only saving grace is that the other woman (ironic) doesn't know it yet. The only thing that would ease your conscience now would be to have him decide, to divorce him sooner or to stop cribbing.



He kissed another girl!

Dear Diana,

I have been with my boyfriend for over 11 months. Last week, he got completely drunk and kissed another girl. I found out that night as he told me himself. He's behaved like this before when drunk. Give him another chance?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,

It does appear that he has commitment issues. Being drunk just gives him an escape route or an alibi. He told you he kissed her and didn't keep it a secret. But he's done this before and could continue doing this.

Undoubtedly, his actions are speaking out louder than his words.u00a0 Make a judgment based on experience. It's your life, after all.

I use the bed to masturbate...

Dear Diana,

I am 27 years old. I have been masturbating for eight years now but do so solely on the bed by rubbing my penis against it. Is there any harm in this or will there be any side-effects of the same? Also, please note that I masturbate in this manner daily and sometimes twice a day and normally while going to sleep at night. Are there any side-effects of daily masturbation? Will it affect my health in the future in any way?

Mangu

Dear Mangu,

Masturbating face-down involves rubbing against the bed which some studies believe leads to traumatic masturbatory syndrome. This does not mean that the masturbation technique is an actual syndrome, let alone a traumatic syndrome.

However, sometimes men who rely on one and only way of masturbating find it difficult to orgasmu00a0 from other types of masturbation or sexual stimulation such as oral sex or intercourse. Experts say that men can often "re-train" their bodies to respond to a wider range of sexual stimulation by varying their masturbation technique. What's the harm in trying a little change?