'Award functions sicken me'

Naseeruddin Shah was nominated at the top award soires for his crackling performance in A Wednesday. Here he reveals why he'll never attend oneu00a0

AS a chubby cat saunters into his living room, Naseeruddin Shah presents the roomful of reporters with a mini-introduction, his tone full of the charm of a practiced raconteur. "His name is Buddhu because there was a pigeon once sitting on the scaffolding and the cat took flight after it, straight into the air. Cats land on their feet and this one did too, but broke his leg," laughs Naseer.

And so, this interview is interrupted when Buddhu gets stuck inside an almirah and has to have Naseer rescue him.u00a0u00a0

In your new film Barah Aana, you play a driver?
Yes, he's a reluctant participant in the mission with a waiter (Arjun Mathur) and a watchman (Vijay Raaz). But he goes along so he can settle his own scores.
I thought this was a wonderful story. I didn't have any work on hand those days. But this appealed to me because it was few days of work and no dialogue, except at the very end.
I'd done A Wednesday and Maharathi the only film I had was Nandita's (Das) Firaq, which is also releasing with Barah Aana.

Are you a good driver?
I'm pretty good, though I don't like it. I've stopped getting angry. I used to, then I realised it was stupid because you're endangering your life and those traveling with you. I enjoy driving on the highways. It's too stressful in the city.u00a0

You shot Barah Aana in Dharavi. Have you shot there before?
Yes, I have. It's not as if Slumdog Millionaire was the first film to ever shoot there. I shot portions of Chakra. Shooting there is like shooting anywhere else. You are invading people's homes; you have to have respect for that like you would for a fancy apartment.

What did you feel about Slumdog Millionaire?
It was a Bollywood, a regular Hindi masala movie made in English. It was thoroughly enjoyable and very well-made. I don't know if it deserves that much acclaim. I felt Frost/Nixon should have got Best Film because it's far more superior.
But thenu2026 awards!

We're coming to that. Don't you feel A Wednesday deserved some Indian awards? So many feel it was their best film of 2008.
(Forcefully) I don't give a damn. The committees and organisers, they can go stuff these awards you-know-where. The biggest award is the acceptance from the public. Poor Neeraj (Pandey) was stupid enough to go to some function because he was nominated and everyone saw what happened there. It's too sick and disgusting.u00a0u00a0u00a0

You too were nominated as Best Actor for A Wednesday.
If I had gone, I might have won, you know (laughs)? I can't bear to sit through these affairs. They bore me to death. This business of everyone patting everyone's back for thoroughly mediocre work. It sickens me.

What was the last function you attended?
I don't remember. I attended the first two Filmfares I won. Masoom and before that Manthan, which I was excited about. Then I gave up. I also won for Chakra. Award functions are a boring farce.
Neeraj and Anjum (Rizvi) were a little upset. They tried to persuade me to go. I dissuaded them. I said, 'You won't win and you'll end up feeling heartbroken.' Why should you assess your worth by some award that a paan masala company wants to give you? Come on!u00a0u00a0u00a0

A Wednesday is being remade in Tamil by Kamal Haasan?
There's an issue about that. UTV went and sold the rights, but it's Neeraj's script.

Kamal Haasan has said, 'Mr Shah has done all the homework for the role and now I just have to follow him'.
(Shakes his head and laughs) Sure. Let's put it this way Kamal will probably play all the roles in it, which I didn't do. He'll play the man, the two young policemen and the top cop.

Your son Imaad is part of Sooni Taraporevala's Little Zizou.
Yeah, it's a lovely film.

Is it because you've already played a Parsi several times that you weren't a part of it?
No, I wasn't approached by Sooni. But I'm glad she didn't because I've played a Parsi too many times and I probably would have liked to have been in this. I saw it last night absolutely sweet and wonderful film.

Was this Imaad's first film after his accident?
(Solemnly) Yes, a year after. It was tougher for him than it was for us. What he went through was something else. He actually went through the physical agony and the frustration of being 20 and bound to his bed for a year. F'''. I was in hospital recently for three days; something minor. I was fed up. This guy was in hospital for one month, at home in bed for six and then moved around with a walker. He's a brave lad.

Maharathi was the last we saw of you, but it didn't work.
It was a mistake. A miscalculation on everyone's part, especially Paresh (Rawal) because he backed that movie. He was a friend so we rallied around. I would have been happy if it had been a success. But it was a bore.
I don't know what happens when you transfer a play to film. It has been seldom done successfully.

Why don't you want to direct a film again?
I don't think I was up to the task. I realised soon after I started. I was too complacent about my script. I should have worked on it more. But I was rushed into it as the funds were suddenly available.
I felt inadequate when confronted with making cinematic decisions. But I had a wonderful time with my generous actors.

In Vishal Bharadwaj's production Ishqiya, you've been paired up with Vidya Balan. How did you feel when you read the script?
I felt that I may have to take Botox injections! (laughs)

A romantic role after long?
Yeah, probably one of my first out and out romantic roles. I've seldom played a character in love. I had to go in for a dye job, which I hate. But here, it was necessary because the character is seen dyeing and he has a white stubble. I had to get a young body language, which is not difficult because I'm athletic.
It was great fun working with Arshad and Vidya, she's sweet. I haven't seen any of her movies except Munnabhai 2, where she didn't have much to do.

There will be the inevitable comparison to Cheeni Kum.u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0
I doubt it. I didn't see Cheeni Kum, but I read the script because I was approached to play Paresh Rawal's role. This is different.

Which was the last film you watched that you wish you were in?
Little Zizou (laughs). From last year, Mumbai Meri Jaan. This year, Dev.D. I'd love to work with Anurag (Kashyap). He's the most exciting filmmaker. He approached me to act in Black Friday. To tell you the truth, I was too scared. My kids were going to school and I didn't want to be known as Tiger Memon throughout the city. When I saw the film, I regretted it. It's his best work.