'Numbers don't scare us'

Rakesh Kumar says preparing an interim budget is child's play!u00a0

Interim Budget! Interim Budget! Interim Budget! These were the words that rattled our brains, the last 24 hours, every time we looked at the newspaper, the television or the Internet. Whether it did any good to u, me aur hum, only khuda jaane. But it certainly made us do one thing that we hadn't done for quite sometime. It got us to open a dictionary. (We actually did, if only to feed our not-so-competent IQs with what interim budget meant.)u00a0

We were delighted to discover that an interim budget is just like a prelude or trailer to the main budget. (Prithvi rejoiced as though he had finally cleared his 10th grade supplementary!)

We then took the biggest risk of our lives by discussing interim budgets on our show. How? By preparing an interim budget of our own. (Tackling chikungunya instead could've been a safer option, no?)u00a0

With blind confidence in ourselves, we put forth the first clause: Fifty per cent reduction in prices for all kinds of hair fall treatments across the city. (This clause was derived from Prithvi's inner desires or sentiments or even deficiencies, if you may call them that.)

We opened it to the people of Bengalooru and our budget was made in an hour's time. No finance minister in the history of this country could have managed that. (Our mothers must be so proud of us.)

Some of the clauses on our interim budget were:
Deduction in TDS if you plant trees. More the trees, greater the slash on your TDS.
>>Budget to instruct girls to reduce their expenses by 50 per cent, since men are going bankrupt meeting their girl friend's maintenance expenses.
94.3 per cent tax rebate on every SMS that one sends to RadioOne. (Smart one. He thought, he'll get a prize from us for that, but we didn't give it to himu2026)
>>All specimens in the city, struggling with psychological disorders, to be given a 50 per cent subsidy on daily expenses to make life easier for them. (Prithvi went wild when he heard that. Because, he knew, he would reap huge rewards from this clause).
>>At the end of the show, Prithvi and I realised that God helps those who help themselves. We pulled through. Stay locked to our show: Bengalooru Fatafat, every morning between 7 and 11, only on 94.3 RadioOne.

(The writer is producer and RJ at 94.3 RadioOne)