Tiger Tiger dancing bright

Tiger Shroff

We caught up with our friend Ayesha Shroff about her son, teenage heartthrob Tiger's tribute to Michael Jackson. "He's always loved MJ as far back as I can remember! MJ and Bruce Lee," she said.

Did you take him for the MJ concert, we enquired, referring to the late pop phenomenon's outing in 1996, when, besides visiting Bal Thackeray's loo (an event that received undue coverage at that time), he also performed at the Andheri Sports Complex? "Yes of course!" said the Tigress, "Though Tiger was tiny back then!

Jackie Shroff, Tiger Shroff and Ayesha Shroff

We spent the entire concert with me standing on a chair and Tiger on my shoulders!" she laughed. And who does her star cub get his happy feet from, we enquired, herself or his dad Jackie? " Jackie," she said unhesitatingly.

Michael Jackson. Pic/Getty Images

"He's a better dancer than me! So that's saying a lot about my dancing talents," she laughed wickedly. One last thing: have the dancing genes been passed on to Tiger alone? "Krishna is a terrific dancer too," says Ayesha, referring to her attractive daughter, "but doesn't do choreographed dancing." Meanwhile, all eyes on the tribute whose post-production is currently underway.

No bid, no hammer
And word comes in about the Bid and Hammer auction that had received notice for all the wrong reasons, after it was revealed that several fake Husains were going on the block. "Not only did the Bangalore auction house receive a legal notice from the MF Husain Foundation," says an art insider, "but also there were hardly five or six people present during the much-hyped event."

Perhaps this has to do with the fact that a R50K non-returnable charge was asked of whoever wanted to attend. "The deal was that it would get adjusted against any work bought, but, of course, it also kept out all those who were there for other reasons," says our source, "like nosy reporters."

Ayaz in Oz
We ran in to our friend and former colleague, Ayaz Memon, recently. "I've just returned from a 12 day visit to Oz," he said.

Ayaz Memon with the memento given by Sir Don Bradman to Ron Clark

"I was there in connection with the upcoming Commonwealth Games to be held in April 2018 in Gold Coast City, Queensland, Australia." Memon, who we've known for almost three decades, now beds down a crushing workload of weekly columns, stints on TV (Star Sports and 9X) and the occasional commentary on cricket.

What was the highlight of his visit? "It was, easily, holding the terrific legacy memento at Runaway Bay Sports Centre given by Sir Don Bradman to the great Olympian Ron Clark," said the avid sports buff. "How I wish we have the sensibilities for preserving sports legacies."

Tongue in Ear syndrome
"I wanted to treat absurd situations as normal and make normal situations absurd," says Homi Adajania, the dishy director whose trailer of the upcoming film ‘Finding Fanny' has got an overwhelming response, garnering over a million views in just 22 hours.

Homi Adajania, Deepika Padukone and Arjun Kapoor

(At the time of filing this, the views had jumped to a whopping 14 lakh.) "Finding Fanny is a comedy that throws five incongruent people together on an unlikely mission, one that is ostensibly noble and altruistic. In reality, it is just a last-ditch effort by each of them to grab at that mythical Second Chance."

The quirky story set in Goa stars Deepika Padukone, Arjun Kapoor, Naseeruddin Shah, Pankaj Kapur and Dimple Kapadia in key roles. Meanwhile, we were curious about what led to his lissome actress sticking her tongue in his…er ear. "She was probably trying to get a taste of the lunacy in my brain," he laughed. "Or maybe just checking if I have one." Nice!

Itsy bitsy moral policing
"A song I wrote for one of my favourite parts of India, Goa," posted Peter Griffin, writer, wit and the man with the unbeatably cool name.

Representation pic/Thinkstock

And for good measure, he thoughtfully followed it up with a link to the original that he'd based it on: Brian Hyland's 1960 nudge nudge, wink wink all-time hit, "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" about the shy girl wearing a revealing polka dot bikini at the beach.

But, of course, Griffin's version is a biting response to Sudin Dhavalikar, Goa's public works department minister's call for a ban on bikinis on the beach.

"She was afraid to come out of the locker,
She was as nervous as she
could be,
She was afraid she'd land up in the lock-up,
She was afraid of the Goa Pee Dubyu Dee.
One, two, three, four! Showing body? Thoba! Haw!
It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, and weenie, symbol of her own agency
It was her body, so she thought it was okay
An itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, ordinary flash of whimsy
But Mantriji said it would make men prey."
Wrote Griffin to the great
delight of all those who saw no reason for the hapless garment to attract his ire.
"Two, three, four! Two-piece? Shee! Must be a whore!
She was afraid to come out in
the open
Sex crimes were because of
her, see?
Poor men can't help gawkin'
and gropin'
And next thing they'll do Ar Ay Pee Ee"
Those born in the sixties will recall how the song was a familiar anthem to many a drunken picnic, sung lustily to conclude a day
of revelry.
"Now she's afraid, this new India's daughter
"She asked for it I say, what to do?"
What if Muthalik was prowling and caught her?
The Ram Sene would beat her black and blue.."

And for all those who want to sing, check out the original song on YouTube.