Austerity for posterior-ity

With the new austerity drive, politicians are being booted out on their posteriors (austerity for posterior-ity?) from five-star accommodation and travelling by train. They are also flying cattle class, that's another word for economy dahling. So, here are some tongue-in-cheek suggestions for our netas to continue their austerity drive in Mumbai, where they would be able to listen to the unique lingo of the Mumbaikar.

This columnist is wondering...

Why Rahul Gandhi does not take the 9.17 fast from Borivli to Churchgate one morning and drink cutting chai on the station.

Whether commuters jostling all around him, might tell the perplexed Gandhi, hataa sawaan ki ghata (I don't care about that) in typical Mumbai lingo.

Whether Jaswant Singh, post-his Jinnah book, would ride in a cab in Mumbai and have a conversation with the cabbie who would tell him, Jaswantji book ka solid raada (big problem) hua?

Whether Sonia Gandhi would take a BEST bus to a sari shop in the city, and watch in amazement as an irate conductor tells a passenger: Ek doon kya kharcha paani? (Should I give you a whack?)

Whether P Chidambaram in his trademark white clothes, walking down one of Mumbai's crowded lanes, saving petrol, would be accosted by a hawker who shouts: Kuch dhinchaak shirt le lo, Chidu ab bhidu lagega. (Buy a gaudy shirt, Chidambaram, you would look snazzy).

Why doesn't Shashi Tharoor, told to leave his five-star hotel accommodation, book a room in a Mumbai lodge, where those living ask him: Are you a minister? Shendi mat laga abhi (Do not fool us).

Whether our politicians would watch movies in the stalls section of Mumbai theaters and listen to the audiences call Kareena Kapoor a raapchick?u00a0

Whether health minister Ghulam Nabi Azad would take a bullock cart to an anti-smoking convention in the city.

The cart driver might tell his bullock cart buddies: koi minister saab tha, cigarette aur cancer ke bare mein bahut pakaya. (I dropped off some minister today, he lectured me about cigarette and cancer).

Why ministers do not car pool in Mumbai instead of using one car each? With so many politicians in one car, their security would have no option but to clamber on to the roof. Beggars at a traffic signal might ask the netas for money: When told these are ministers, they would reply: Ministers? Apun Alibaug se aayle kya? Which de-coded means: Do we look like fools to believe that?

Why are you reading this tripe, anyway?