29 April,2011 08:59 AM IST | | Prahlad Nanjappa
This last week has been one of monumental events.
Critical issues of whether one should carry Queen Elizabeth's invite to the wedding, when one goes to the Abbey, have been chewed over. Can commoners look closely at Waity Katey's dress?u00a0 Should one shake the hands of the Queens of Swaziland when they are in the reception queue ufffd and oh can one share with them, that animal skins below and bare tops above, aren't really Abbey dressing? And what does one do with the corgis? No royal protocol book shares with you whether you ought to bend down and scratch a ear ufffd or merely bow and wish them a good day.u00a0u00a0u00a0
All of this last week, The Honourable Lady Gladioli Chatworth Pinkerton Davis-Davis was in rather a frazzle. As Prince William Louis Blah-de-blah got married to a mail order shop owner's daughter the Windsors had made it de rigeur to wear something from a British designer.u00a0 Lady Gladioli sighed and wistfully thought of her Parisian silks that would stay unworn as the world's media focused on her Brit-clad bosom.
The world media has gone a "tad off" as programming has been centered on the rather dysfunctional family.
Anyone watching TV in the last week, now knows every minute detail of the Lord Chamberlain's ablutionary habits and crucial data like how the Queen's tea parties are organized.u00a0As one friend's status puts it: Restaurants in Bangalore are offering Royal Tea. You can watch the 'royal wedding' and eat English style delicacies and drink English tea.u00a0
As Princess Di's friends were ignored (reportedly struck off the list by Ugly Stepmother Camilla), British toffs have gotten into rather a tizzy and arranged themselves into two: the Have-Been-Invited and the Have-Nots. Many stiff upper lips have been seen quiveringu00a0 at White's ufffd and strong men whose ancestors fought in the Battle Of Waterloo, have been sobbing in their country piles, as the realization that they won't be donning their ermine, has hit them.
Lord Whatsisname may be weeping into his whisky, but the Deputy Mayor of Bangalore (I didn't even know we had one till the invites went out) certainly didn't give anyone an opportunity to feel left out at his wedding. Football fields were purloined for his nuptials. Officials, officers, sundry politicians and bureaucrats all wended their way to the garishly bedecked mantap.
Parking in no-parking zones was completely lent a blind eye. Who could say anything when the traffic jam being caused, was courtesy the Commissioner of Police's official chariot? The Windsors have decreed that the only gifts presented to the couple should be cheques to their charities.u00a0The Deputy Mayor (what's his name, again?) probably thought he was a charity Bangaloreans should pay for.
If only he would fix our drains and roads now that his wedding is finally over. Just so I can get to my hair appointment for the royal wedding on time.
