Former Australian fast bowler Jeff Thomson has mocked reported moves by England selectors to revive their hopes of winning next week's Oval Test
Former Australian fast bowler Jeff Thomson has mocked reported moves by England selectors to revive their hopes of winning next week's Oval Test and, therefore, the Ashes by recalling 39-year old batsman Mark Ramprakash.
Ramprakash has been out of Test cricket for seven years now, but won the television dance show Dancing with the Stars.
"What's he going to do," Thomson asked, "dazzle us to death with his sequins and a few ballroom moves? This is Test cricket not Dancing with the Stars or whatever you call it. And Ramprakash has a Test average of 27 don't make me laugh."
Poms desperate
"The Aussies would love it if he returned because it would show just how desperate England are.
"Mind you, he couldn't do any worse than your middle order at Headingley. Ravi Bopara looks shot to pieces and Ian Bell's biggest contribution was to help Mitchell Johnson regain his form.
"I know Bell scored a 50 at Edgbaston, but he was out about three times in that innings and Johnson has got his number now. It's dial-a-wicket."
Thomson also predicted Andrew Flintoff's farewell Test is set to end in "disappointment".
While writing off England's chances, in his newspaper column, of rebounding after their innings and 80-run humiliation at Headingley, the former tearaway bowler said: "England have no chance of winning the Ashes because the Aussies no longer fear Freddie Flintoff.
"Bringing Flintoff back for the final Test won't fool our blokes.
"They know England are pinning all their hopes on a saviour charging in to bowl on one leg.
"Flintoff will make one last push to win the Ashes before he retires from Test cricket. But the fact is his knee is crocked."
"England have to take 20 wickets next week to save their skins and, Flintoff or no Flintoff, they haven't got the bowlers to do it."
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Meanwhile, rumours that England (Barmy Army) supporters sought to take revenge on Australian fans by perpetrating a fire alarm "hoax" at their Canterbury hotel (the Abode) yesterday have been quashed.
A faulty smoke detector caused the evacuation of the Australian team and support staff at their hotel at 9:30
yesterday amid rumours that they were victims of a Barmy Army prank in retaliation for the hoax at the England team's hotel on the first day of the Headingly Test, for which Australian support group, the Fanatics, claimed
responsibility.
Hotel staff at the Abode Hotel confirmed a faulty smoke detector had gone off.
All guests were allowed to return to their rooms within minutes and the Australians were not inconvenienced since their training session had been delayed because of wet weather.
(With inputs from agencies)
