23 July,2009 09:20 AM IST | | Peter Colaco
Marriage is a near-defunct concept in this day and age. Yet we in India still place emphasis on peripheral items like bridal wardrobe, VIP guestlist, 5-star menus and so on.u00a0
When we were young, matchmakers were among the pivotal figures of our society. A family lived on the verge of ostracism if they could not arrange suitable life-partners for their daughters. Matches were made on considerations like ability to manage a household (in the days before 'instant' everything made everything more manageable), suitability for child bearing,u00a0 beauty and dowry.
u00a0Certain old ladies were self appointed match-makers (old men too, if they put their minds to it). The first step would be to contact families with eligible children; and match them with suitable prospective partners by a preliminary survey.
Some considerations were more important than others. 'She is/isn't beautifulu2026 but she has strong, child-bearing hips!' (or a big dowry, or both!) Or she is an excellent cook, with a flair for home making. He is/or isn't a bright young man, but has excellent career prospects etc. Now, from the CV it is difficult to distinguish between the males of the species and the females. All are considered equal in today's competitive, professional, achievistic world.
In days of yore a man went to office while his wife managed the home.
But... 'Different times, different concerns.' Today's brides who make their own matches, (if marriage is what they want) don't need a matchmaker.u00a0 Pairings are decided by proximity in the work place or a short trial live-in period.
Most modern 'belles' are not too concerned about childbearing (except that it could spoil their youthful good looks; or eat into their fun years.) But still, matchmakers can play a crucial role in bringing about a desired pairing.
There was this beautiful and talented young lady. They had a family friend whou00a0 had lost his wife early in his married years, and remained a widower thereafter.
Unlike them, he was well acquainted with the family of a highly eligible young man. The girl's parents decided to co-optu00a0 him as match-maker (MM).
Two weeks later Cupid had done his work; the match was made. But not between the young man and the girl, but between her and her match-maker!
They had found many common interests which had wiped out the disparity of their years. He was in his 50s; the girl was 19-going-on-20.u00a0 It was not the original match for which he, the MM, had been enlisted, but it was a more than satisfactory pairing.
Match-makers are now redundant in the professional world, where large salaries have made girls financially independent. Though there is a different sort of match-making between prospective employers looking for suitable employees and candidates, male or female seeking a career.
The male-female role-switch is 'happening'. The female of the species often takes the lead in job hunting and the male is sometimes in charge of the household shopping, kitchen, nursery and all.
