How to

Hi Sandhya,
I'm a 25 year-old man working in Mumbai, and live with my younger sister. Neither of us make enough money to be able to live alone or afford a 2BHK, which means we have to share space. She's 21, just out of college and on her first job, so I have to make her feel safe and show her around Mumbai, since neither of us are from the city.



Trouble is, I need my space! I love her, but she's turning into the biggest enemy of my love life. Obviously, I can't have my girl staying over when she's around, which is all the time. I'm also expected to do all the running around, whether it is to buy groceries or refill the fridge; something that's really beginning to gnaw at me. Plus, sharing the TV and the bathroom is a constant battle. Then there are times when I just want to be, listening to music or chilling by myself, especially on the weekend, but that's not to be because she wants to go out or gets her noisy friends over whose mess I have to clean up after.u00a0 I love my sister but living together like this is really tough. What should I do?
Thanks,
Harrowed

Dear Harrowed,
This situation is definitely irritating, but can be sorted out easily. Just stop being as tolerant as you are and define some rules. She's young and slightly irresponsible, so you have to give her responsibilities. Doesn't sound like you have even tried. Being the good older brother is very sweet, but she has to learn to be the good younger sister and care of your needs and look after you as much as you look after her. So, lay down some rules. Some amount of sharing will still continue but if she does her bit, you will resent her less.

I see no reason why you can't have your girlfriend over. I understand the initial awkwardness of having a younger sister in the house, but break it in slowly, and if it's a legitimate relationship, then it's not setting a bad precedent, if that's your concern, which I think it is. The only risk is that she might want to have her boyfriend/s over in time, which could be frustrating for you, but the flipside is that at least it will be under your nose and supervision. So, don't worry, and be yourself! Talk it through with baby sister and get on with life. It will all fall into place once you define the ground rules in all fairness to both.
Love, Sandhya