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Hi Sandhya,
I'm a 23 year-old man who's just started working in a new job. I'm attracted to a 30 year-old woman in my office. Call me crazy, but I know she's attracted to me too. She was the one who first made the attempt to get to know me, and even added me on IM chat. We live only 20 minutes away from each other, and so end up leaving and coming to work together too, at least three times a week.



This has been going on for about two months. We have a lot of fun together, she's great to talk to, and also really good looking. Of late though, the nature of our relationship has been bothering me. She's openly making sexual advances, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to act on them. So far I've been resisting because I'm not sure if I want to complicate matters because of our age difference and the fact that we work together, but I don't know how much longer I can hold these feelings.

I'm not interested in a serious relationship at this point -- I just want to focus on my job. But this is a huge distraction and I want to get physically intimate, but only after telling her that that's where I want to limit it to. Do you think I should do it?
ABC

Dear ABC,
At this point this is not complicated, but from experience I can tell you it has potential to become a mess. It'll get harder and harder to let go off. If the age difference matters to you then you've already made your decision -- let it go while it's still good and before you guys really get into each other. Personally I've never considered age or work important enough reasons to let go off somebody you really like but I know it matters to most men. Even though I don't agree, I guess it's a choice you make.

I believe compatibility and love are rare to find and one must hang on to it and everything will fall into place. Going with the flow has always been my way of doing things. It brings with it fun,u00a0 adventure, happiness and a lot of pain sometimes, but that's life! In any case, the first thing you must do is to talk to her right away. Come clean and tell her exactly what you're thinking. It's only fair. Then it's her call to stay in it or leave. She may not want a future either.

Do not give into any temptation unless you're clear about matters because if you're confused this will mess things up badly. Sex will only complicate matters, unless that's the only thing both of you want. In that case, invest in some condoms and be happy! But figure it out and then GO FOR IT with conviction one way or the other. Put the age and work situation aside for a second and think about it clearly. Good luck!
Love, Sandhya

Sunday Mid Day'su00a0 hot cool agony aunt is here to field your volley of questions on love, sex, career, relationships, fitness and beauty... anything. Go on, ask.

Write to Sandhya at sandhya.mridul@mid-day.com with your name (initials or alias will do for the secretive and/or cautious) in not more than 100 words.