Impotence of being earnest

As Diwali comes closer, lighting up our dark world, it is time to put the depressing and dreary behind us and think of the impotence of being earnest

As Diwali comes closer, lighting up our dark world, it is time to put the depressing and dreary behind us and think of the impotence of being earnest.

So, doffing a hat to the zany, the insane, the fun, this columnist is wondering...

Whether Arundhati Roy would be booked for sedition in any other country had she spoken out like she did about Kashmir elsewhere?u00a0u00a0

Whether one auto garage tells another: I am going on a diet from tomorrow to get a six-pack abs, I am fed up of all these tyres.u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0
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Whether one book tells another; Don't be deceived by that charmer, after all you cannot judge a book by its cover.

Whether one ice cream tells another in a melting moment; Hum aapke hai cone

Whether one opera singer tells another; Hey you have some chorusma, you know.

Whether one block of cheese nudges another and says; That one is such a chaalu cheese yaar!

Whether you went to a Mumbai dietician and saw immediate results that your wallet was a lot slimmer after the first session.

Whether Santa's sleigh will have to take the Bandra Worli Sea Link (BWSL) and have to pay the toll as he comes to the city in December.

Why the Indian Premier League's (IPL) Lalit Modi does not team up with Karan Johar and make a movie; Kochi Kochi Hota Hai.

Whether the Dhobhi Ghat grumbles to itself; I wonder why all these people have never heard of the adage: do not wash your dirty linen in public.

Whether nature lovers bird watch, young men with jumpy hormones girl watch but entire Mumbai would be Obama watching this Diwali weekend.

Whether a charming surgeon can be called a smooth operator?

Why some dairies do not have cows (in this calorie conscious climate) that automatically give skim milk?u00a0
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Whether our Commonwealth Games medallists have received the money promised by their respective state governments.

Whether Mumbai's underworld with its dons will one day take over the gondola network in Venice and it will soon be renamed 'goondola'.

Whether people would not talk to each other in the near future, lose the power of speech and only 'ping' each other on their Blackberries.

Why the Royal Western India Turf Club (RWITC) does not rope in badminton ace Saina as a brand ambassador as she can also be called Saina Neigh-wal?u00a0u00a0u00a0

Why are you reading this tripe, anyway?