Lava, lava say lava lava

As we come to the end of a tumultuous week and steady ourselves for an Indian Premier Leagueu00a0 filled weekend this columnist is wondering...

Whether the most common question along with who will win IPL 3 is how did Nita Ambani manage to lose so much weight.

Whether one loaf of bread threatens another: try that again and you will be toast.

Whether a set of piano keys sing to the Michael Jackson number: no matter if it is black or white.

Whether a bowl of jelly would be advised to do abdominal crunches and cardiovascular exercises to get rid of its jelly belly

Whether Mumbai's mills died out because their chimneys got lung cancer since they were always smoking?
Whether Sunanda Pushkar and Shashi Tharoor are in a boat on the Kerala backwatersu00a0 singing: 'Yeh chaand sa roshan chehra, Lalit Modi se sunhera.'

Whether Mumbai's bullock carts on the road would also have meters like taxi meters one of these days.
Whether Karan Johar might make a Kaajol-Rani-Shahrukh film on the IPL Kochi controversy calling it: 'Kochi, Kochi Hota Hai.'

Whether James Bond films would ever go on strike putting posters like James Bandh.

Whether one should always invite whales to a party because they have no option but to have a whale of a time.

Whether all those spanking new tiles at the refurbished, re-opened Oberoi hotel at Nairman Point, cannot hide the bloodstains of the 26/11 victims who perished there.

Whether one egg says to another with a flourish: 'Well, it is showtime, yolks!'

Whether hassled Mumbaikars would explore alternate modes of transport like flying from one place to another on electric brooms, (an invention by some young IP geek) called 'Jhadoou00a0 ki sawari,' who needs a Ferrari.

And on that same note whether all the jhadoos of the world are smiling now that recession seems to be on the decline and we might be looking at an economic b(r )oom.

Whether one pressure cooker sings to another: 'Shaam dhale, khidki tale, tum ceetee bajaana chodh do.'

Whether universities would offer degree courses in becoming self-styled Godmen one of these days calling it, a 'Masters in Becoming Godmen (MBG),' since these self-styled divinities seem to be having so much fun.u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0

Why a Bollywood film unit does not head for Iceland to film the erupting volcano and make Govinda and Karisma Kapoor dance on a number with the lyrics: 'Lava, lava, and say lava, lava.'

Why are you reading this tripe, anyway?