Loving thy neighbourhood

Last Saturday, Home Minister P Chidambaram at a gallantry award ceremony declared, "We live in perhaps the most troubled neighbourhood in the world." I say, the man and me for once meetu00a0 eye to eye, at least on this one.

I mean, take my supposedly 'posh' south Delhi neighbourhood for instance. Last night, returning from a party, I felt like playing dog and the hydrant. So I unzipped myself by my neighbour's wall and was almost going to paint a masterpiece when he spotted me and flipped his lid. He did this Obama having caught Osama act which woke up the whole neighbourhood. You see sir, not a very peaceful neighbourhood for a man who just wants to mind his business in peace.

Forget that; let me tell you about this college going neighbour. I religiously, ogle at her and give her my best perverted, lecherous smile when she comes to the clothesline to dry her lingerie. But she shrinks away giving me giving me this disgusted look I can't decipher. Again a case of a troubled Delhi girl who can't handle the attention of a full bloodied male living in the Capital.

So you see it's a pretty messed up place, this neighbourhood called Delhi. And it's not me alone who is facing problems. Look at Rajya Sabha MP Kanimozhi's new neighbourhood; Tihar. Inadequate toilet facilities, sweltering heat, mosquitoes for neighbours, including an alleged sex kingpin called Sonu Punjaban. Then not far away is a place called Bhatta-Parsaul where poor farmers don't want to co-exist peacefully with the land mafia, mall owners and politicians. Now suddenly they have left their homes provoking politicians into a cat fight.

I wish I could live in a utopian place called Antilia, which had 27-storeys and a helipad and what not. Never mind, if some jealous souls keep cribbing it was built on orphanage land. But then again, a certain tycoon would have jutted his nose in and said that I must say 'tata' to all this opulence and 'find ways to mitigating the hardship that people have.'

But I have this inkling it is not these neighbourhood problems you are talking about. You are looking at the larger picture ufffd this neighbouring country of ours whose government is so fragile that it kills its own former prime minister and takes boat rides to our major cities. Where drones attack and most wanted terrorists go for holidays.
Well, not that, we are better. But I am just a common man looking at the smaller picture. And I know if I can start by fixing my neighbourhood it won't be such a troubled place. What about you?