20 June,2011 08:48 AM IST | | Hemal Ashar
If you do the night shift maybe at a call center, you may not find this remotely funny. A bit morbid maybe. But, then, keep all those serious thoughts aside. Afterall, a Monday calls for some insanity, the only way to get you through another working week. So this columnist is wondering:u00a0
Whether skeletons have no option but to do the graveyard shift. Whether one shaving cream tell another, be a man and take it on the chin. Whether the French have no option but to use the Plaster of Paris as building material
Would one couch tell another, I am getting old can't you hear my springs creak?u00a0 Would one ferry tell another we can have a ferry tale wedding?u00a0 Would the Sensex ever be censored? Would an item on an Udipi menu ever do an item number?
Whether you made the correct noises about M F Husain's death but secretly did not understand some of his works of art. Why actors are called actors after acting for five minutes in one movie?u00a0 Whether Universities will ask for 150 per cent on 100 as admission critieria.
Would a pair of shoes drink sole kadhi, chicken soup for the sole? Whether Mumbai would get impossibly flooded this time during the rains. Why go to Venice just wait for the rains and go home in a boat, gondola style in Mumbai?u00a0 Whether you have eaten your first makaia of the monsoon season, on Maine Drive or Worli Sea Face, its smoky flavour wafting into your nostrils, felt its crunch and then the sweet succulence on your tongue as a wave crept up on you and surprised you as it sprayed salty water, or you are waiting for it to start pouring in earnest for that.
Why filmmakers sometimes do not know when to stop, like Bheja Fry 2 proves? You do not need a sequel, one film was enough. Whether you let your father know he was special yesterday, on Father's Day. Would three-year-olds carry I-pads and notepads to school in the near future?u00a0
Whether one comb tells another: think I am having a bad hair day. When the monorail starts operating in Mumbai would Ajit the villain say, mono darrrling instead of Mona darrrling?
u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0
Whether Ruskin Bond, the writer, is the 007 of writing, killing us softly with his sublime, simple style? Whether if Mr Gul Kripalani loses his lunchbox, he would be known as dabba Gul?
Why the Mahanagar Telephone Nigam Limited (MTNL) employees do not compete in the World Billiards Championships as they keep saying, aapan raanget ahaat you are in cue?
Why are you reading this tripe, anyway?
