Meenakshi Shedde: From #MeToo to #KidsToo

Illustration/Ravi Jadhav

The campaign against sexual harassment is gathering momentum worldwide. This has followed the outing of serial casting coucher and Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein, 65, after a number of women accused him of sexual assault or harassment over two decades. Sexual harassment, along with rape, misogyny, patriarchy and related social sicknesses, has a long history in India. Generally, men's attitudes towards women, hardened over a lifetime, will require serious work, or more likely, legal punishment, before they can become more respectful or sensitive towards women and children. But, what we can and must actively shape every day, are our children's attitudes towards sexual abuse; they are easier to mould.

Some time ago in Dubai, I visited old friends from Bombay, Bhaskar Raj, his wife Mini, and their son Manu, about 11. They took me shopping at a mall, and soon Manu told me he had seen a man take advantage of the crowd to deliberately brush against women. He should be punished, said Manu. We observed the man from a distance, and he did it again. Manu's parents wanted the man prevented from harassing women, but were hesitant to get involved in a police case, or to have me, their guest, be hassled. So Manu and I told the store manager that a man was sexually harassing his customers. But we would identify him only if he promised to take action in the store itself - eg publicly out or thrash him - but not call the police. The manager had his security lead the man out with a warning that he could never enter the store again; he was on CCTV and next time they would hand him over to the police.

Later, Manu and I discussed how courageous he was, and how important it was that he reported when he saw a woman being harassed, and followed it through till action was taken. Somebody else would have simply ignored it and continued shopping. We also discussed what could be appropriate punishment. I did not know the UAE's laws on sexual harassment, or if the police would arrest or even deport him. He may have a wife and children dependent on his job. So the punishment would need to be appropriately preventive, rather than provoke further revenge against women. I realised how critical it was to discuss issues around sexual harassment and abuse openly with even older pre-teenagers, to give them perspective, the tools to understand what it all means, and clarify what action they can and cannot take as children. What impressed me was how sensitive and mature young Manu was, understanding that everything was not black and white. Importantly, he stood up against sexual harassment, even when he was not personally affected. If he would do his as a child, he would likely do this as an adult.

Moreover, Dipesh Jain's superb, award-winning In the Shadows, playing at the Mumbai Film Festival last week, features Idu, barely a teenager. He runs away from home after being repeatedly abused by his violent father, but instinctively returns to protect his mother, as she has no one else. The real battle is also within our families. I hope we actively encourage the Manus and Idus of the world: they are our biggest hope.

Meenakshi Shedde is South Asia Consultant to the Berlin Film Festival, award-winning critic, curator to festivals worldwide and journalist. Reach her at meenakshishedde@gmail.com