Kumar Saurav the features reporter set out to find his match on a dating website, and came back appalled and amused
Kumar Saurav the features reporter set out to find his match on a dating website, and came back appalled and amusedJust when I thought of updating my profile on a matrimonial website, I received a mail from a friend, which convinced me to think otherwise. While some descriptions amused me, others left me wondering whether I should even think of getting married. Few applicants, who have posted their profile on various services, seem to be convinced that grammar and spell check do not exist. So, I personally take no responsibility if you forget your basics after reading what I'm going to share!u00a0
Here goes the first oneu00a0"Hello to viewers. My name is Shraddha. I am single. I don't have male, If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. If u like me u welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter. Thanks yours Shraddha (Truly yours)."
I sincerely hope that she finds the right guy, but before that, she needs a Wren & Martin, asap. Else, her guy would ask her to clap, while she would happily slap.
The next one is even betteru00a0"I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than I. Because I love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come onu00e2u0080u00a6hold my hand forever!"
This one has a retail store type toneu00a0buy before the sale goes off.
The third one is my personal favourite. It goes, "I want a boy with no drinks, if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast."u00a0
Erm... alright... cast, jeans... it's all in her genes, I guess!
The next one is surely a post by a bus conductor, who is obsessed with Horn Ok Please. Consider this, "I love my patner I marriage the patner ok I search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok." Okayyyy... whateva!
Here's another masterpiece. "I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. I like social service." Don't worry, she is not looking out for a zebra. Her eyes have failed every theory of medical science. If you're interested in Sharmila, go to an ultrasonic centre, ask them to find the colour of your heart and if it's white, you're the chosen one. This lady, I predict, is diehard fan of Michael Jackson's Black o White. He might just be interested, you know ;)
You would laugh at the final pieceu00a0"Madam, Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long (That's massive, truly).
Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. Expecting soon, Yours and only yours."
Phew... I don't know if I should be rolling on the floor or shaking my head in vain. After going through the entire series of amusing 'proposals', I actually feel like doing nothing but running back to my family pundit!
