They call me a goon

Illustration/ Uday Mohite

They call me a goon. Yeh word, "goon", I feel it is unfair.

'Goon' ka matlab hai that I go around doing "thod phod" for no reason. One dictionary says that "goon" means "a violent criminal who is paid to hurt or threaten people". Let me say this straight, I am paid to hurt and threaten people, woh baat sahi hai, but I am not a criminal.

Also what does it mean, "violent"? Explain me please.

My job is like any other job - except regular timings nahin hai. Yeh typical 9-5 system nahin hai. Sometimes din mein, sometimes raat mein I am called. For such type work there is no "thikana".

Goonda gardi ka season nahin hai, like Diwali season or holiday season. We get Whatsapp message ki "such and such job hai, and come to this such and such location".
My life is like that Manoj Bajpayee serial, The Family Man, my wife does not know fully what I do. They think I am only a security guard - sab mera weapons, hockey stick, danda, iron rod, I keep at my dost, Rakesh's place.

But I am very particular, after we finish our 'assignment', I leave my work at the doorstep - I help my son with his homework and put my daughter to sleep. Me and my brother... we are same to same. Uska job bhi thoda different hai, he is working at Tihar Jail as the hangman. January 22 is a big day for him, he will be hanging those four rapists.

See, I don't get some pleasure from all this, I am peace loving, God fearing and Tuesdays, no meat. Mera kuch ideology nahin hai. I'm not part of any political party. I'm not Right wing, Left wing. Boss main apna centre hoon. Mera sirf ek lakshaya hai, to feed my family.

It is not like chalo, one morning I wake up and decide that I will break up some office or beat up some people.

See, main maantha hoon that this last one year, kaam badh gaya hai. Especially Dilli mein.

Yeh last JNU incident…I was there, of course. You saw me in that photo, na? Arrey please understand that there was a plan. Do you think we are foolish to just enter colleges? There is strategy, negotiations.

Attacks like these need allies, you have to do 'recce', get advance info, who are the important leaders of that college, where will they be when we come, which floor do we destroy.

People call me a coward - we wore those masks, so we cannot be identified - aise kuch nahin hai. As it is the CCTV cameras were not working. They had been disconnected in advance, so why should we hide our faces? Nahin nahin. We wore the masks because of Delhi fog, the air is still harmful, ya.

So you understand my point of view na?

See mera time aa gaya.

Accha excuse me I have received Whatsapp message. I have to go, there is a "protest" being planned. Sorry, cannot tell you where.

Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com

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