Are we agents of bra industry?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Why are people scared of feminists? Why do even those who have been exposed to this complex world of ideas, have an infantile re-set button where they keep rehashing stereotypes of feminists as scary, ugly and aggressive? I feel the answer lies in something the feminist Sonal Shukla, popularly known as Sonalben, who passed away at 80 last week, said to me when I interviewed her for my film Unlimited Girls: "It doesn't matter what people go round saying about feminism, but when a feminist speaks, women listen, you know." Why? Because feminists describe the unspoken truths about women's lives when they describe the world speaking to, with and as women. They also reveal the power structures which prop elite men up. And that's difficult, right? Which is why feminist women are often called difficult women.

There are many ways of remembering Sonalben. She was one of 50 people who attended a historic meeting to challenge the judgment in the Mathura rape case propelling a movement that changed rape laws. She began Vacha, a feminist library with two friends (among them Nina Himes, whom Wilson College alumni would remember) and remained invested in people's movements through her life. She wrote many feminist songs and a column in Gujarati for many years.

But I want to remember her hit parade of one-liners, for a reason. What do you think about the stereotype of the bra-burning feminist I asked: "Are we agents of bra industry?" was her absurdist response mirroring the absurdity of the stereotype itself. When I exclaimed at her drawer full of iconic feminist posters, she said, "always keep friendship with old women, you never know what you might find" - referring at once to the treasure trove of posters, to ageism and to the histories, experiences and wisdom of older women, that people don't draw on enough - not a hesitation seen when it comes to older men. How come a feminist library had detective novels and pulp fiction? "We are not here just for breast-beating, right? We are here for fun. Otherwise, only some careerist researches will come here." Her wit was both, pleasure and political observation or argument, inflected with the angular humour found in Marathi and Gujarati.

Feminist friendship was a big part of how she told the story of her life and much creativity and collectivity arose from it. Where there are deep friendships, there are also deep un-friendings, and she doubtless had her share. She had a twinkling charm and could also be sharp and difficult. Being a difficult woman is part of changing the world really - the constant pressure on women who are fully themselves, is always to be more pleasant, in order to be accepted into the very world they wish to change. To tune that boriyat out with all your brightness is liberation.

In creating a feminist library, Shukla celebrated the words of many a difficult woman, glory be, and invited other women, including a young me, to enter this world of polyphonic pleasures and challenges. To relish the work and voices of women, to argue and engage with them is to take women's voices seriously, and through that practice, take your own voice as a woman seriously, to relish your own wit and brightness. So, I celebrate Sonal Shukla's interesting and iconic life, by celebrating her words. She'd have been mighty pleased too.

Paromita Vohra is an award-winning Mumbai-based filmmaker, writer and curator working with fiction and non-fiction. Reach her at paromita.vohra@mid-day.com