‘Bombay is the third wheel in our friendship’

Smarinita Shetty and Anisha Sabharwal at Smarinita’s home in Prabhadevi. Pic/Sameer Markande

Smarinita Shetty, 51, CEO and co-founder, India Development Review

Anisha Sabharwal, 49, Chief Analyst, Nordea Bank

With core skills in building new markets and ecosystems-goals she has successfully met in the spheres of knowledge process outsourcing, low-income housing and adolescent girl empowerment - Smarinita Shetty is CEO and co-founder of India Development Review (IDR), Asia's largest media platform on the social sector. Her prior expertise was in business journalism and financial services. She has lived all her life in Bombay, barring two short stints in Bengaluru (with a pink paper) and New York (leading sales for her first startup, Netscribes, India's first knowledge process outsourcing firm, which she co-founded at the age of 27).

Currently Chief Analyst in Stockholm at Nordea, the largest bank in the Nordics, Anisha Sabharwal has a background in banking, telecom and IT. Having resided in Bombay, Sydney, Singapore, London, Puerto Rico, Abu Dhabi and Sweden, she has worked in sales and marketing, supply chain efficiencies, payments infrastructure, and partnerships and alliances. Settled in Stockholm and having spent more than half her life outside Bombay, she dubs herself Swindian: Swedish Indian.

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Smarinita Shetty: It was June 1994, the first day at Narsee Monjee Institute of Management Studies. Anisha entered class and I thought, wow, this girl has courage. Outspoken, with a mind of her own, she commandeered 60 new students. And was also funny. Anisha can make a rock laugh.

Anisha Sabharwal: I remember thinking, here's a feminist who's so chill. We had common reading interests, enjoyed travelling to all kinds of places. Above all, we shared liberal, left-leaning values.

SS: Finding comfort in that worldview and similarity in ideas, we wanted to change the world. Ironically, we were cynical as hell, debating issues over the same dahi batata puri lunch we ate every single day at the Mithibai canteen.

I love Anisha's parents and sisters. There is so much warm affection each time we meet. They are insanely generous of spirit, always with room in their heads and hearts for other people.

AS: My mum considers Smarinita her fourth daughter. But Smarinita insists she actually likes her husband Dhruvank more, treating him like a dear son-in-law. Smarinita's parents are absolutely amazing. Typical South Indians, they're incredibly humble, something their daughter has inherited.

The friends in Paris, 2002 and in Stockholm, 2006

SS: Anisha was the star when we were young. I joined a pink paper, she got into a prestigious corporate programme, travelled the world, working in different continents. I marvel at her ability to adjust and do well in various contexts.

We take trips together. In 2022 we went back to Paris.

Earlier there in 2002, young in our careers and without money, we lived frugally in cheap hostels, walked endlessly, saw every tourist attraction there was. We returned as successful professionals, booked nice hotels, good food and wine. It was one my best holidays.

We talk often about the experience of being women in leadership positions, about peers, gender in the workplace, what makes us happy, what we struggle with. I envy the balance Swedish corporate life allows, the understanding that great work can be done in eight hours, that employees have lives outside office.

AS: Smarinita is in development, I'm in banking. Yet, there is much common ground around women and workplaces, managing millennials etc. I'm super proud of her work. The world needs to know more about it. I act as her PR person because she does a terrible job of it.

SS: When she's down, we cram in meals at new places, window-shop extensively (she can't buy any cotton clothes, given that it's freezing 10 months of the Stockholm year), and generally catch up at her home.

AS: I'm in Khar, she in Prabhadevi. We hang out in Bandra or in town, with me obsessed about figuring the new stuff - cafes, plays - that seems to come up in Bombay all the time. I eat Smarinita's brains about visiting them. That's my connect, wanting to be up-to-date with Bombay. Where I am is just deathly quiet. Northern Europe is like Southern India: restrained. In Sweden even a wedding, like the South Indian wedding, resembles a business dinner.

It's hard for me to understand those who look at India in a condemning manner. Luckily, my Swede husband Andreas and son identify themselves as Swindians. Our 10-year-old is blond but full-on Punjabi the way he loves people. Consider Smarinita's boys and we are two feminists with three boys. It's great that our husbands get along too. Dhruvank works for Spotify, a Swedish company, so he spends time with us when travelling for work.

SS: Anisha is aware of everything happening in my life, the angst, the cheer. Super sharp and intelligent, she has a very high bar to do right by all people. I marvel at her ability to charm, making anyone feel at ease. I'm the wallflower, she's the life of the party. There's this eternal divide between the times we eat, sleep or land at a meeting.

AS: We discuss our insecurities and fears without anxiety of being judged. Smarinita has a great level of integrity. She validates my opinions and concerns. We're a weird combination of no-nonsense and emotional. Analytical and practical, then thinking with the heart sometimes.

SS: I trust her advice. It's what I'd objectively give myself if I were a third party. Our take on global politics is beginning to differ. Hers is now more European, mine continues to be India-centric.

AS: We might disagree over the Middle East crisis resolution.
Otherwise, we're in an echo chamber. Plus, for us both, family - immediate and extended - is the No. 1 priority.

SS: Bombay is the third wheel in our friendship. I'm grateful it gets her back every year. Hard to sustain such a close friendship without meeting in person two-three times a year.

AS: Unconditional love for Bombay is our relationship's special ingredient. Here lies a big part of my identity. Anything is possible in this city of a million opportunities. We cherish what it has given us.

Author-publisher Meher Marfatia writes monthly on city friendships. You can reach her at meher.marfatia@mid-day.com/www.mehermarfatia.com