The world’s most honourable ministers

Wrestling Federation of India chief and MP Brij Bhushan Sharan Singh (right) at the Pitambara Peeth in Datia, MP. Pic/Twitter

India has the most amazing ministers in the world. No one has said this out loud yet, but it is only a matter of time before some important organisation announces it. How could they not, if given access to the polished CVs of our many elected representatives? The facts speak for themselves, so I don't foresee any issues with such a proclamation arriving any day now.

It doesn't take a degree in Entire Political Science to show that we have some of the world's most qualified men and women in charge of our country's future. It's why India is now looked upon with envy and admiration the world over, as political leaders from every corner struggle to attract the kind of talent we so casually designate to Parliament with every election. They are the elite: a group of people tirelessly devoted to tackling everything from hunger to crime, while still finding
time for Twitter.

Some would argue that becoming a minister has less to do with talent and more to do with one's bank balance, or whom one happens to be related to. I find both arguments mildly obtuse. Yes, most of our ministers happen to be crorepatis before they are elected, and the ones that aren't so well off usually become crorepatis soon after, but that has little to do with why they are chosen. It costs millions to run for an election these days, and most of us don't have this kind of money lying around, but that doesn't take away from the happy coincidence that so many crorepatis have a mysterious affinity for politics. Maybe it's just a love for humanity common to rich people the world over, coupled with a need to make everything better. Maybe the rich have some reason to control everyone else that we simply don't understand because we aren't in their position.

As for the question of relatives, why drag nepotism into the picture when it is often an act of charity? If the children of politicians don't embrace politics, how else are they supposed to earn a living? Doesn't it stand to reason that a minister in charge of, say, the environment, will automatically have offspring as devoted to an equitable distribution of natural resources among the highest bidders?

I was prompted to write this mildly impassioned defence of our stellar bunch of politicians because I have begun to feel, lately, that they aren't as appreciated as they ought to be. They are being attacked and accused of things they simply aren't capable of. Take that embarrassing, months-long campaign against the Wrestling Federation of India chief who just happened to be a Minister of Parliament. He was charged under sections of the Indian Penal Code that included stalking, assault, sexual harassment and common intention. He was also booked under the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act, which made me wonder how he found time to play the role of a politician. Did he harass women on weekends alone?

It made me question if these accusations made sense given how busy our ministers are, always transforming every nook and cranny of India. If they really had as much free time to commit the many crimes they are routinely accused of, would India really have 100 Smart Cities? I think not. We are a developed nation because our ministers work for us, not for themselves, and even a cursory look at a neighbouring street, bus stop or railway station ought to prove how we are already a more advanced nation than the United States or China.

I believe we should all think about the absurdity of allegations like these and ask ourselves if they seem plausible. If we don't nip this sort of behaviour in the bud, there's no telling what ministers may be accused of next. Imagine, for instance, a chief minister being accused of snooping on a woman, or a home minister accused of extortion and murder. How will we deal with something as ludicrous?

Luckily for us, the government continues to do its spectacular job of attracting and retaining talent. Parliament continues to be staffed by the best and brightest, which is why I expect the United Nations to take notice of this any day now. Until that happens, we should just do our part, put our heads down, and stop accusing our ministers of things. Just because someone looks like a criminal, acts like a criminal, and commits a few crimes, doesn't mean that person really is a criminal.

When he isn't ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira

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The views expressed in this column are the individual's and don't represent those of the paper