Mumbai Food: Why Malad's new bistro 'The Noisy Cafe' fails to impress

Paneer Burger

A new cafe on a busy street is bound to draw buzz, especially if it springs up in the middle of a thriving restaurant scene. One such bistro opened its doors last month in Ramchandra Lane of Malad West. While The Noisy Cafe's dimly-lit exterior failed to impress us, what caught our attention were waiters in lemon tees with the slogan, 'Don't keep it down', inviting us in. The café boasts a one-of-its-kind concept - encouraging patrons to create meaningless noise.

Loaded Cheese Pizza

After walking past a giant door, we spotted a family occupying one table, as Bollywood numbers played in the background. We also spotted a couple of musical instruments placed on a platform behind the counter, adding a funky look to the space. The staff in fact, encouraged us to pick one and play along. We were told we could be as noisy as we wished. Ignoring the offer, we picked a table in the indoor area and placed our order from the all-vegetarian menu card. The mushroom alfredo pasta, smoked barbecue paneer burger and loaded cheese veggie pizza soon arrived.

Mushroom Pasta with Garlic Bread

The generous dose of cheese and cream in the pasta made it a flavourful dish, and the paneer pattice that sat between two halves of the burger bun, topped with cheese, sundried tomato, onion, lettuce and mayonnaise, was fast food at its best.

Black Beauty

Our smile, however, didn't last long when a below-average loaded cheese veggie pizza arrived with everything but an overload of cheese. The steward recommended the black beauty from the drinks menu - a mix of crushed black currant and mint - and the cucumber ginger, a hydrating detox juice. While a mint twist to fresh black currant was interesting, the cucumber ginger had an overpowering pungent taste. We decided to fix the taste with dessert, but were told that none were available.

Musical instruments placed behind the counter

A surprise awaited us when the bill arrived. The steward brought along a sound meter. And then came the bizarre request - laugh out loud into the device to win a discount.

The cafe has funky decor

After hitting 119 dB (decible) with a pretend laugh, we were given a discount of nine per cent on the total bill. A customer who crosses the 110 dB mark, gets a concession. Stupid? We think so too.

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