‘Papa would have thumped everyone’s back and asked: What’s next?’

Mrinalini, Kartikeya, Mallika and Vikram Sarabhai on Mallika’s 10th birthday; (right) Mallika with her parents. Pics Courtesy/Mallika Sarabhai

If papa had been alive today, he would have gone around the ISRO complex thumping everyone on the back. And then he would have asked: What are we doing now? What's the plan for the next 50 years? That's how scientists are...

I miss my father every day; I haven't got closure yet. He died when I was only 17 [years old]. My brother spent more time with him, and had more adult conversations. But I would ask him questions like, "Why was he setting up IIM Ahmedabad?" or "Why was it important to go into space?" For him, it was all connected to the development of the nation. He would tell me, "We need managers to manage the kind of institutions that can deliver to the poorest. And if I can put satellites in the sky, then I can send teachings to everyone."

He was a visionary. One grew up in a household that was all about nation building - but not in a holier-than-thou way; it was sheer excitement that he felt. He was always focusing on how something could make a difference. That kind of electricity really influenced me.

My home was a lovely mix of arts and science. One day we would have activist Khan Abdul Gaffar over for dinner, another day it was German-American psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, and another day it would be some astronaut. [My brother] Kartikeya and I would be part of these parties and gatherings, and were encouraged to ask questions. We were also asked to defend our opinions - so they had to be cogent and articulate.

Every decision within the household was taken with consensus - if it affected all of us, all of us had to agree to it. Once, we had to buy a car, and I wanted a pink one. They spent three days explaining to me why it shouldn't be pink, and only when I agreed was a black Fiat brought home.

I think my own interests have been shaped like that. Though I have always been into the Arts, I have been reading a lot about brain research and the mind-body connection. I have always been interested in the gap between modern and traditional medicine.

As far as my grandfather (Ambalal Sarabhai) is concerned, I was his pet. He would take us to Kashmir every year for vacation, and my parents weren't invited. My grandmother was an uptight Gandhian and rather humourless, but he had a twinkle in his eye and would defend me.

I think all of them have added to the layers of my consciousness. Sometimes, when I have a thought, I think that's what papa would have thought. When I am on stage and raise my arm, that's Amma's arm. It's that strange sort of layering.

I often wonder what Papa would think of India today - hate-filled and fragmented. He truly believed that everyone was like him - filled with passion and excitement about developing the nation. He could walk into the room of cynics, and turn them [around]. It was all about being committed to making India better.