He tried to Talibanise and dump me but I still love him!

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Dear Diana,

Illustration/Sameer Pawar

We were together, two and a half years and all that time, he's been very possessive of me. I couldn't talk to my friends or even relatives.

If I did he'd abuse me and them. He'd decide what I could wear, how I ought to tie up my hair and such. I stuck by him because I loved him and did it all to keep him happy.

A month ago, he made a trip to his village. On his return, he was totally changed. I told him we ought to get married soon. He didn't reply for two weeks.

After that, he calls me up saying that his mom has fixed up his marriage with somebody else. My friends advise me to forget him and move on as he is gonna repent and come back soon.

I miss him and want him back. I've made a decision of staying single for all of my life but I dearly miss him and can't concentrate on my studies and nothing else.

It hurts so much that I feel to end up my life. I'm immensely in need of ur help.

Alvina

Dear Alvina,

Him dumping you and ignoring you is the best thing that could have happened to you. That kind of control and possessiveness is just plain sick.

From what I read, you've been doing all the giving and loving while he's doing all the owning. If he had to repent, he would a long time back.

Also, don't give up on love because of this one bad experience. And suicide for this guy, simply not worth it. No guy is worth that much. He just doesn't deserve you.

He doesn't say what he wants...

Dear Diana,

We've been dating 11 months now. We hardly meet though we're from the same city. My parents know about us, but from his side, only his mom does.

Moreover he lets me do the talking while he's quiet. Now I feel that he's giving more importance to a physical relationship than a emotional one. How do I make him open up about what he wants?

Gloria

Dear Gloria,

You have to start talking things out. It is never going to be easy for him by the looks of it, but you're going to have to initiate a discussion sooner rather than later.

It takes two to tango and you'll have to figure out what goes and what doesn't in your relationship.