He’s not nice, but I have no option

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 46-year old, divorced woman who began dating a guy my age a few months ago. He was never married before but had no issues with my past. We got along fine and decided to give this a chance. The thing is, he's not a very nice person to be with. He is moody, doesn't meet me when he has other options, and just treats me very casually as if he is doing me a favour. I allow it because I feel as if I may not find someone else at this stage in my life and given my situation. I have no one I can turn to for advice because my friends won't see things from my perspective. On some days, I just want to end this and be single, but I also worry about ending up alone and desperately hoping for a companion. Should I try asking him to change, or wait and see what happens before I commit to something long-term?
You should always carefully evaluate your reasons for being in a relationship, as well as whom you choose to be in one with. Your reasons for wanting a relationship are sound, because not everyone likes the idea of growing old alone, but being with someone only to meet this requirement comes with other consequences as well. It seems as if your partner doesn't share your expectations, nor does he feel compelled to be with you for the right reasons. Change has to come from within, and no relationship can survive without mutual love and respect, both of which appear to be in short supply here. You are also doing yourself a disservice by settling for someone out of a sense of fear, based on an assumption that you will not meet anyone else. Give this more time if you believe it will evolve into something better, but also consider a point beyond which you aren't willing to compromise what is important for a healthy, happy life. Companionship shouldn't come at a cost.

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