I don’t feel guilty about cheating...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I cheated on my partner a few months ago and have never felt guilty about it because we have not been as close as we used to be. I don't even know if there is a future in this relationship anymore and am still in it only because there are no serious issues between us. If I tell her what happened, we will break up because she will not forgive me. I also feel that keeping this to myself makes sense because I don't want to hurt her and would rather see this end on its own if we lose interest in each other. I know what I did was wrong, but I also want to protect her from this because I don't want to cause her pain. Is this the right approach?
There is a lot of hypocrisy to unpack here because, while you say you want to protect your partner and not cause her harm, you have also done irreparable damage to this relationship, and betrayed her at every level. You can ease your conscience by saying you're doing the right thing because this relationship has no future, but you can't ignore the fact that your relationship is currently built on lies. To withhold something like this from someone who loves and trusts you is unforgivable, insensitive, and disrespectful. If this isn't working for you, and you don't want to admit to what you have done, the one honourable thing you can do is end it and give your partner the opportunity to be with someone who deserves her.

My husband always feels as if he needs to keep some information from me, and I think it's because we have only been married for a year and he doesn't know if he can trust me. How do I change that?
Time will help you both build trust but, until that happens, keeping lines of communication open and letting him know that he can talk to you about anything will make a difference too.

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