He has asked me to move in...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend recently asked me to move in with him. We have been dating for almost two years now and he says it's the right time for this step. I am okay with the idea in principle, but what worries me is that his family members often spend extended periods of time with him. His parents sometimes live with him for months, and he doesn't have any issues with that arrangement, but I do. For me, moving in with someone is about getting to know them and seeing if we are compatible enough to take this to the next level and commit to a long-term relationship. I don't want to have to deal with his family, not because they aren't nice people but because I find the whole thing awkward. He has asked me to consider it and I have asked for more time but haven't been able to tell him why I am hesitating. Should I ignore this and just go ahead to see what happens?
If you have a problem or any reservations about this, you should speak up. One of the biggest reasons for moving in with someone is, as you mentioned, figuring out compatibility. If you believe this is an issue, not discussing it or putting across your point of view defeats the idea of building a relationship. Being honest about how you feel, and your expectations from your partner, are critical to the well-being and future of your relationship. This is merely a hurdle in what may be a series of challenging situations you may both have to navigate. Avoid doing anything you're not comfortable with because, while it may seem like a compromise to make your partner happy, it could also lead to resentment if this accommodation seems too one-sided. You may both have to give and take a little and make adjustments to arrive at a solution that works. Until that happens, you are justified in taking as much time as you need, provided you let him know what's going on.

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