How can I know that she never did it with her ex?

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How can I know that she never did it with her ex?

Dear Diana,

Illustration/ Satish Acharya

I am 24 years old, and my girlfriend is also of the same age. We have been in love for the past six months, but now I find myself in a dilemma. She recently confided in me about her first boyfriend and how he had been 15 years older than her. She told me that she left him because she found out that he was actually married with children. He had lied to her and when she found, she dumped him. When I asked her how intimate they had got, she claimed that while they'd hug and kiss each other, she never slept with him. I want to know if it is possible she restricted herself to that? In the past six months, we've slept together more than eight times. How is it that sheu00a0 never slept with him? When I discussed her past relationship with my relatives, they told me that it is not possible she did not sleep with her ex boyfriend. After all, if she could do it with me, she could have done it with anyone else too, especially since she loved him a lot. I am confused. Should I trust her on this?

Zaid

Dear Zaid,
You are asking the wrong questions. to the wrong people. In stead of asking her and your relatives if she had slept with her ex. Ask yourself a few questions. Are you so small-minded that you would sabotage your relationship over her past? How does she matter even if she did sleep with him? Why should it change your feelings for her? Do you have a reason to not believe that she didn't have sex with her ex, when she confessed everything else to you? Is this how you pay her for her honestyn? Just because she had physical relations with you, doesn't mean she did with him too.u00a0 Doesn't matter how long they were together. Sometimes a girl will go home with a guy on the first date, at other times, not even after six months. It's upto her. if you don't trust her, no point being in a relationhip.u00a0 She is better off without a guy like you.

My boyfriend's friends insulted me

Dear Diana,
When my boyfriend's old college friends came to visit us, they brought a poster size pic of my him and his ex-GF. They spent the whole night giggling over it. Now they're texting my BF to dump me, calling me a b'''h and leaving insulting comments on my Facebook page! I don't expect my BF to drop his friends,but can't he atleast stand up for me?

Neetu

Dear Neetu,
Yes,u00a0your boyfriend should not just be standing up for you, he should be telling their friends to stop harassing you, and calling you names. And if doesn't, then he probably doesn't respect you. And you should not be with this guy. Obviously he is as big a jerk as his friends. How insenstive of them to get a poster of his ex and flaunt it in front of you. Get rid of this guy. Now.

I am a compulsive cheat...

Dear Diana,
I have a steady girlfriend, but I am a compulsive cheat. I just can't stop sleeping around. I kept promising myself I wouldn't do it again, but I kept breaking that resolve. Recently, I went on a business trip and seduced the woman I was there to meet. We went out for drinks, danced and when I dropped her back to the hotel, we ended up sleeping together. I woke up feeling guilty again. I couldn't meet her eyes at breakfast and somehow managed to get rid of her. This happens everytime and I end up being miserable for days. Please help me.

Raj

Dear Friend,
I can't help you. Your problem would be as simple as a overactive libido to being a sex addict. You need professional help to get the right diagnosis. You seem to know that there is a problem, and that's the first step towards betterment. If you don't seek help, you will continue to indulge and kill yourself with the guilt. Also if your girlfriend finds out, she might leave. Unless you want to be alone for the rest of yoru life, and just have casual meaningful relationships, I suggest you seeka good therapist and try and get over your addiction. There are also many books on the subject that you could read and use as a guide, if you chose to do this yourself. but that might be difficult.u00a0