I am the other guy in this affair. Wanna call it quits

Dear Diana,
I can't seem to motivate myself to end this, even though my mind is saying enough is enough! I've been involved with a married woman for a couple of years now, and I don't feel like I live in the real world because she's a sexual dream come true -- a couple of times a week -- not to mention very attractive and drama-free, which makes ending these trysts so much harder. We're both intelligent and we're rationalising this affair.

We both have great careers and a work schedule in a virtual office environment (on the road and work from home); this has propelled the affair to levels you can't even imagine. We often talk about how our actions are not exactly extolling the virtues of ethics and morals, but since we're both free of drama and manage to carry this on in a pragmatic yet passionate manner, I find it very hard to end this. I am being robbed of precious years being with her, but why am I still doing this? I have no problems finding dates, women, etc, so why do I like her so much? My female friends who know about this are baffled because they all think I'm a great catch... and I've dated them too.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
It is understandable that you're having difficulty giving up an immediate 'certainty' for a long-term possibility; especially, when that 'certainty' feels so good. And a big part of the reason it feels so good is because you're living a fantasy. Your relationship isn't bogged down with the mundane aspects of life -- bill paying, child rearing, and household chores. Because the time you spend together is hard to come by you tend to make the most of it, thus making it all the more enjoyable and harder to resist. You'll have to muster the determination for yourself. You can make it easier by having other things to distract you during the withdrawal. It might help sober you to remember that your spouses are getting all the heavy lifting while you and your lady friend are getting all the rewards. They get to see the less flattering parts of you. You're a grown man and you'll have to govern yourself.

My son's friend stares at my boobs!

Dear Diana,
I'm a 46-year-old woman with a 17-year- old son. Whenever his friend comes over he always stares at my breasts. No matter what I'm wearing he still stares (even if there is no cleavage showing). Should I say something to him when he does this or ignore it?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
It's rude to gawk, and you'd probably be doing him a favour if you said something about it, unless you genuinely enjoy the attention, and it sounds as if you don't.
At the same time, he's a horny 17-year-old boy and the assumption will generally be made that, if you're displaying cleavage, it's because you want people to see it.

He's 24, I'm 14. Will it work?

Dear Diana,
I like this guy and he's really nice and cute. But he's 24 and I'm 14, which is a huge age difference. I think he feels something towards me. I don't think he would ever take advantage of me but I really want to be with him. Do you think this could happen? Can it work? If so, how should I go about this? I think I really love him. I can't get him out of my head.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
No. It's illegal. "He won't take advantage" of you? For what other reason would a 24-year-old date a 14-year-old? How many 24-year-old men do you know who date 14-year-old girls? Think about it. Also, it is illegal for anyone over the age of 18 to have sex with a minor. If he did it with you, it would be classified as statutory rape even though you consented. Maybe it might work when you're 24 and he's 34. But right now, you're still a child no matter how grown up you think you are.