I fibbed to him, how do I tell him the truth now?

15 October,2010 11:02 AM IST |   |  Diana

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I fibbed to him, how do I tell him the truth now?

Dear Diana,

Illustration/ Satish Acharya

I am a 22-year-old girl. I met this guy on the Internet, and it turned out to be a real fairy tale. We started chatting anonymously one day and within two weeks I was constantly logging on to see if he was online, like the film You've Got Mail. After that we used the microphone, and it was chemistry at the first letter spoken. The problem is I gave him the wrong name and the wrong identity. Over time, we became close. We started to talk about our problems and help each other. Now it's been months and I am feeling badu00a0 and I don't have the courage to tell him the truth. I am afraid that he will stop talking to me. I feel guilty because he even made me talk to his family (sisters and mom) and they thanked me for being supportive and nice to him. (His last girlfriend had put him through hell.) I think I loveu00a0 him and I know he does too. Please tell me how do I tell him after six months that I'd been lying to him?
Lavina

Dear Lavina,
Well, you basically have two choices. Eitheru00a0 tell him the truth now, or keep up the lie up forever. Have you both decided to meet? If you love each other, eventually you will come to that. I am assuming you both live in different cities, which is why you haven't met till now. I would be careful in labelling this "You've Got Mail" kind of romance. Romance in movies isn't realistic. I wouldn't be sure that a proper relationship is even on the table. You don't often get your soul mates. You tend to believe that, but when the 'lovers' do meet there is no "spark" at all. Sometimes, the problems they encounter in real life, overshadow the haze brought on by the internet. How do you approach him? Perhaps an email. Just say what you did, and why you did it. I think he would understand, that you didn't do it to hurt him, nor is it exactly that important ufffd unless you have lied about other things too. Hope it all works out for you.

What's he trying to say?

Dear Diana,
He sends me mixed signals. One day he ignores me, then he talks to me all day. On Monday, I had a small get together, and he brought cake. He said it was for everyone, but I recently found out he had brought it for me. Is he interested?
Katy

Dear Katy,
Guys who are cautious try not to actu00a0 'impulsive' in order to avoid a snub. He seems the sort who is decent and has feelings for you. Make sure you like him for who he is, not because his different approach has caught your attention.

She is out of my league...

Dear Diana,
I like this beautiful girl, but I feel she is out of my league. We used to talk a bit in college but that stopped. Last week we met and it was really easy to talk to her, and she seemed to enjoy talking to me as well. I got the feeling that something clicked that afternoon. The point is, I have a crush on her, and want to ask her out but I want to take baby steps, and be friends first.u00a0 Also while she was talking to me, she said she had no friends. I think she does, but not someone special that sheu00a0 can talk to. But it's really hard to get her alone. How do I go about getting to know her better?
Mario

Dear Mario,
She's clearly not out of your league if she chose to sit down next to you and get talking to you again. And she went out of her way to say that she didn't really have many friends, so she's kind of looking for you to be brave here and talk to her. So all you need to to do is get to know her, and perhaps even ask if she'd like to come out some time since she's feeling a bit lonely. Start there and see what she says. Also start working on your confidence. You seem to have self-esteem issues, if you think you are not worthy of a girl, and are not pickingu00a0 up on the signs she is sending you.
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