My boyfriend dumped me but is yet to tell me why

It's been two weeks since my boyfriend broke up with me and I'm starting to develop a subtle hatred for him.

My boyfriend dumped me but is yet to tell me why

Dear Diana,

Illustration/ Satish Acharya

It's been two weeks since my boyfriend broke up with me and I'm starting to develop a subtle hatred for him. I guess I am just feeling used and thinking about him makes me feel inferior and stupid. He used to always poke fun at me. He'd say mean things or tease me about stuff I was self-conscious about. I was utterly confused with his behaviour because I could never tell if he was being rude or just kidding around. And now that we've split, I feel bad that I let him walk all over me.u00a0 He knew he would get away with it because I loved him. Now I really want to know why he broke up with me after I put up with his nonsense. I want closure, a clear explanation, but I refuse to ask because my pride is getting in the way. Also, I don't want him thinking this is a way to try and get him back. Though I am ashamed to say a part of me does want him back. I also realise that I am beautiful and smart and that one day I'll meet a guy with a mind as unique as mine. But for now, I want to stop feeling anything for him. Help.
CJ

Dear CJ,
It's good to know that you are thinking clearly. You know you were in an emotionally abusive relationship, and you are ready to put that behind you and accept that you will have a future with a good guy some day. There is no magic cure for closure. It is not in his hands. Nothing he says will help you deal with the situation. You have to do this by yourself. Don't try to rush it. Hate is the first step, soon it will be followed by anger, and then indifference. You just have to be strong. In early days of break-up, one is more willing to reconcile. I want you to be strong and unforgiving. Don't waste any more time and energy over this guy. Fact: He's ended the relationship and it doesn't matter why. If you do need an answer, just tell yourself he was a jackass, who didn't deserve you, and so he left. Please look at the facts of the situation and do not allow yourself to be treated badly, now or in the future.

Too haught-y to handle

Dear Diana,
I really love this girl for the past two years. And she knows this. The only problem is that she throws a lot of attitude. She behaves as if she is the last woman in the world and acts as haughty as a queen.u00a0 How do I handle her?
Sameer

Dear Sameer,
There are two possibilities: she either doesn't love you at all or she fears that you will stop loving her soon. Tell her that her behaviour really bothers you. If she doesn't change and you are sure you can't live with her this way, it will be best if you move on and find someone better suited to you.

I dream about being with her...

Dear Diana,
I've been having dreams this past week about a girl I like. She is one of my good friends who lives close to my house. In the dreams, we are usually just hanging out doing whatever. With every dream I have, we have become closer together as if love has just sparked. My feelings for her seem so vivid in the dream, they spill over to reality. I almost feel as if I should be close with her, but I know it only happens in my dreams. I feel at a loss because I want to be around her more often now. I know the difference between what happened in the dream and what the reality is, but should I trust these feelings I have for her?
Bankim

Dear Bankim,
I think you are dreaming of this happening with her because you want that type for relationship. Your dreams are telling you of your desires and wishes right now, and you wish for this relationship. I think the dream is just using this girl as an example though, unfortunately. She is just a girl you sort of like, and your dreams are using her because she is a good example of a typical girl who you could imagine having a relationship with. So don't be depressed if it doesn't work out between you and her. Your dream is about the type of relationship you want right now, not necessarily a prophecy about you and this girl.