My husband's abusive past is getting me worked up!

Dear Diana,
My husband would physically and mentally abuse me. This became worse during my pregnancy and I miscarried. After this, he became better for a while and has only hit me twice during serious arguments. I still can't get over how he treated me and even though he is good now, it still affects the relationship. Should I end it?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Any man who physically and mentally abuses his spouse for any reason doesn't get any sympathy. Continued abuse shows that he won't change his ways. This behaviour will continue without abating. You shouldn't let that anger fade away. Know that the more you put up with this, you empower him to treat you even worse. He may be "good" now but it's only a phase that won't last. End the relationship. Don't even think. It's not worth being a glutton for punishment.

I'm weirded out my something I used to enjoy

Dear Diana,
I'm 36 and in a relationship with a 30-year-old girl. She is married to another guy but we love to have sex (it's been five years now). Trouble is, we used to enjoy going down on each other and now, I feel very odd just going through with it. Will continuing oral sex lead to us having skin problems on our face?

Irrshad

Dear Irrshad,
The trouble with oral sex is, most people take for granted that their partner will follow hygienic habits before indulging in the actual act. What they don't realise until it's too late is that their other has not even got themselves tested for STDs, which is kinda the norm if one of you is having sex with multiple partners.

My husband wants us to be swingers...

Dear Diana,
I am 25 years old and married. I've known my husband for ten years ufffd we dated for five years and have been married for three. We are going through a rocky patch. My husband has suggested we split for a week or two and have sex with someone else. I am worried that he will prefer this woman (or women) to me and never come back to me later on. I don't really want to try it but he says it's fine. My husband says couples do it all the time. Is this true?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Couples don't do this. Couples having affairs do this. He wants to have sex with someone else so he's making sure he can do it without repercussion. That is a very unhealthy way to handle this. All couples go through rocky patches occasionally. Part of being a couple is learning to deal with the problems together and work through them. Anyone can be married during good times. But it takes work to keep a marriage going through the bad, which everyone experiences. Those patches are what define a couple. If he's ready to run for the hills every time you hit a rocky patch, then your marriage will not survive. You two need to find a way to work this out together.