She's fat and rich, I do just about okay...

diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

Dear Diana,

Illustration/sameer pawar

I'm 26 and good-looking and in love with my friend who is 22 and fat. While I'm a middle class boy, she is from a rich family. I know this girl for 18 months now. Five months back, I proposed to her but she rejected my proposal.

I got angry and abused her. At that time, she broke it off. I wrote many mails to apologise. Some of my mails expressed my deep love for her. At the time, I wanted her to be my girlfriend but she didn't bother to reply.
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After five months, she called me and said that she really missed me and asked if I genuinely loved her. I said I still do but I wanted to remain friends with her because I fear that my folk and hers will not allow us to be in a relationship.

Beside that, I don't have the financial standing to ask her dad for her hand. At the time of proposing I was aware of suchu00a0 circumstances, but I felt the urge to propose her. But now, I feel I should have an arranged marriage to a girl of my class.

She wants me to become financially stable before I ask for her hand again. But I desperately want to marry this summer because I have sexual desires and don't want to fulfill those desires by going to a prostitute or by playing with someone's emotions.

My relation with my friend is strictly platonic but I love her a lot and can't see her with any other boy. What should I do?

Subhash

Dear Subhash,

For now, your reasons for marrying a girl (any girl) is sex. The only reason you're with your friend is because you're deeply possessive of her, but by your own admission, the relatinship is platonic (which means you never intended having sex with her in the first place).

What would be the point of marrying her and then wondering why you weren't cheating at all. Ask yourself this: is it worth all the trouble?

She loses her temper over trivial things

Dear Diana,

We've been in a serious relationship for three years now. We love each other a lot. My only problem is that she is short-tempered. She gets angry over trivial matters which escalate into big fights. She spouts rubbish when she's angry.

I tried to talk her into getting her to control her anger, but to no avail. I love her and don't want to lose her. How can I make her understand that her anger will pose a big problem when we marry?

Aaryan

Dear Aaryan,

A short temper is a ticking bomb. Don't get involved when she gets into fights. Ignore her when she looks for a reaction. When she sees that she isn't getting one, she'll eventually give up.

I think she might have to go in for counselling with a professional counsellor to resolve latent issues that she might be dealing with. Her temper is no doubt a hindrance to the future of your relationship and you will have to remedy it.

Caste could derail our shaadi

Dear Diana,

I am in relationship with a girl. She loves me very much and so do I. But now, caste is a problem for our marriage. She is from a so-called lower caste. My parents and relatives are very much against it. What would you suggest ?

Prashant Phalle

Dear Prashant,

Since caste discrimination is sich a prevalent problem in India, there is little chance your paarents will relent and agree to you marrying your girlfriend.

There's no other problem except the societal backlash they'll face, should they give in to your demands. No doubt, you'll be soing the right thing by not bothering about these distinctions at all, but you'll have to make a tought choice: your parents or your girlfriend.