A better head space

Representation pic

Shamal Jaykar, counselling psychologist, notes the fear society has with self-compassion. She says, "We fear that if we are too kind to ourselves, we might repeat mistakes, not grow and be stuck." The fear of stagnation has always been a tool that has kept leniency at bay. But Jaykar explains that when the pursuit of growth mixes with self-criticism, there is not going to be any improvement anyway. What we need is self-compassion, with accountability.

If this is a balance you'd like to strike, Jaykar along with counselling psychologist Anchitha Rao will be facilitating a self-compassion workshop with The Alternative Story (TAS). The session will help facilitate a change in the relationship with oneself, and learn how to practise mindfulness and forgiveness, especially when approaching challenging situations.

Paras Sharma and Anchitha Rao

Jaykar notes, "Self-compassion is not just about being kind to ourselves; it talks about turning self-criticism into accountability." The 27-year-old illustrates with a simple example of people getting too critical when they make a mistake, or feeling inadequate. Paras Sharma, founder of TAS, lends another example of people feeling guilty for not finding time for exercise or hobbies while working from home.

Shamal Jaykar

The Mumbai-based counselling psychologist adds, "When we say accountability, we are looking at all of the factors that are responsible for the situation and not just focussing on criticising and being harsh with ourselves. Self-compassion is a perennial topic because as a generation we are extremely self-critical." The Alternative Story offers workshops, personal and joint therapy sessions, and certificate training programmes for professionals to enhance counselling skills. They also host a podcast titled The Alternative Story podcast focusing on mental health.

How to change self-criticism to accountability

>> Be accepting and encouraging of ourselves and the circumstances, instead of being harsh and over critical
>> Recognise that everyone fails, makes mistakes and experiences hardships in life, instead of believing everything is ‘supposed to go well' or ‘something is wrong only with me'
>> Be open to the reality of the present moment by allowing thoughts, emotions and sensations to enter awareness without resistance or avoidance

On: February 13, 11 am to 1 pm
Log on to: @thealtstory on Instagram
Cost: Rs 199