Rahul daCunha: L Man, the superhero

Illustration/Uday Mohite

So, for once my cable guy Lobo Lobo showed up at my doorstep, to repair, not rant. "Lobo Lobo, my cable is not working, can you just see what's gone wrong?"

Having checked my set top box, Lobo Lobo analysed, "De problem is not wid de box men, it must be wid de antenna... lemme go on top and check."

"Okay, the terrace is that way...," I began to tell Thelonious. My thoughts trailed off as Lobo Lobo then did the most amazing thing - he took off his Charagh Din bush shirt and changed into a desi superhero outfit. On his chest was a huge sticker that had the alphabet 'L'. Plus, he wore a huge turquoise blue cape.

"What's up Thelonious Lobo?", I asked, "why have you suddenly dressed up like Shaktiman meets Govinda?" Lobo Lobo gave me a superhero grunt, "Hey hey Dikuna! Shurrrup men, my name is Thelonious Lobo only in de day, when I change into dis outfit, I am "Lobo Man" or "L Man", men", he emphasised as he headed towards my window.

"Okay, L Man, the terrace is that way", but he had suddenly dissapeared through my window only to return in a second.

"What's happening, L Man? You're spooking me out"

"See my company is feeling pressure from Netflix and Zee 5 and Prime Video, so as a special promotion dey are making all of us cable guys dress up as superheroes and climb up to people terraces via de window?"

"So why did you come back so fast?"

"I'm scared of heights men". I hid a smile, as Lobo sat down to catch his breath.

"Don't you feel that names like Lobo Man or L Man, are a bit passe..I mean Superman or Spiderman, even Iron Man are so old fashioned that even Marvel Comics have named their modern superheroes Deadpool, Captain America, Black Panther and Wolverwine"

Lobo Man, pondered this statement "You may have a point, men! But de company gave us dese names men. My colleagues are D'Lima Man, Coutinho Man and Batista Man (Batman)"

"What does Myrtle think of all this?"

"Uhm Dikuna, de trut is uhm…de missus doesn't know dat I am a super hero."

"Oh boy, are you're really like Superman, you go to work as one person, and change into another?"

"Yeah Dikuna, but I wish I was like Spiderman with webbed hands or Wolverine with daggers coming out of his knuckles, and with real powers…I wish I could fly, scale buildings, lift cars, change form… fly from terrace to terrace fixing dish antennae, make old red '1000 notes into pink '2000s, fix the Chattisgarh elections, make Rahul Gandhi talk sense, forsee what Trump will say next and give him a thump or two, control Virat Kohli's arrogance, Saurav Ganguly's stupidity, protect Dhoni, ….?'

"So tell me who designed this outfit for you?"

"Stan"

"Wow Stan Lee?'

"No men Stanley Noronha, my local Virar tailor, he aldo designs all Ranveer Singh's weirdest outfits men!"

Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahuldacunha62@gmail.com

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