Is your partner giving bare minimum to the relationship? Here's how to navigate

In relationships actions speak louder than sugarlaced promises Some may find this utopic but lovers still exchange flowers and save the most savoury bites for their better halves Quite honestly nothing screams affection like the little things we do for our belovedTragically some of us get entangled with a lsquobare minimum partnerrsquo These are individuals who invest minimal efforts in communication curating special moments and conflict resolution Hence the duty of preserving the emotional equilibrium falls squarely on the other partner To top that the intensity of efforts needed to float a relationship also varies from one equation to anotherNavigating a bare minimum partner can be emotionally draining You find yourself constantly embroiled attempting to account for their lack of commitment To assist you with this emotional turmoil we racked the brains of relationship experts on ways to deal with halfhearted loversThe bareminimum partner in real lifeOne common sign is when a partner often the male spouse believes that providing financial support is sufficient for maintaining the relationship shares Dr Swarupa M U ndash a consultant psychiatrist and family therapist at Cadabams Group Bangalore ldquoThey may feel that their financial contribution absolves them of other responsibilities in the relationship such as emotional support or active involvement in family mattersrdquoSwarupa adds that she has worked with couples where one partner typically from a businessfocused family prioritised their career and financial responsibilities to the detriment of family time They viewed their role as primarily financial and didnt invest adequate time in the family leading to issuesIn cases involving addiction individuals who prioritise their social circle and habits over their familys needs may display a minimal commitment to their relationships Their time and effort are primarily directed towards their addiction leaving little for their loved onesIndividuals with antisocial personality traits may also exhibit minimal commitment They often lack empathy disregard rules and have a negative perspective on relationships Their behaviour can be harmful to their familys wellbeing adds SwarupaEight traits of a bareminimum partnerAccording to Tinderrsquos Future of Dating report personal development emotional wellbeing and clear communication in relationships are priorities for Gen Z When you observe signs of complacency and lack of devotion from your partner it can threaten the relationshiprsquos welfare opines Dr Chandni Tugnait Life Coach and Relationship Expert with Tinder IndiaCommunication neglectThey rarely initiate conversations and when they do its often about superficial things like worldly affairs gossip and their own selfish ambitions They may seem disinterested in talking about emotional issues and anything that you deem important for the relationshipEmotional distanceYou will begin to notice a growing emotional gap between you two No matter how much you pamper them and shower them with your love they will stay away from expressing gratitude Consequently they may be less affectionate emotionally unavailable or unwilling to engage in meaningful conversationsLack of quality timeSpending quality time together becomes infrequent or feels forced You may tend to feel awkward in sharing silence with them and will try to fill it with small talk Additionally they may prioritise other activities of their choice making you feel unimportantFailure to compromiseFor a lsquobare minimum partnerrsquo you and your feelings will always come second In case of conflicts they will choose not to compromise even if it implies hurting you They might be stubborn and unwilling to find mutually satisfactory solutionsForgetting special occasionsBirthdays anniversaries and even doctor appointments will not make it to their calendars Being less invested will inevitably mean that they consistently forget important dates or milestones that hold significance in your relationshipLimited effortNo matter how affectionately you treat them they will find ways to disappoint you with their faint efforts You will be left feeling unloved or unappreciated as there are no memories of unconditional love and support Simple gestures like giving compliments surprises or acts of kindness will become rareMinimal future planningThey avoid discussing future plans together such as moving in marriage or starting a family and may appear unsure about their commitment to a longterm relationshipSecretive behaviourThey become increasingly secretive about their personal life and activities Despite asking they will choose not to give a clear picture which can lead to feelings of mistrust This is a stark warning sign that your partner has stopped caring about your emotional needsRed flags to watch out forRecognising early signs of emotional unavailability in someone can be crucial for maintaining healthy relationships Experts at Tinder share the top red flags that give away the signs of a partner who is barely invested1 Lack of time commitment2 Selfcentred behaviour3 Inability to engage in open and meaningful communication4 Making fun of your interestsbeliefs5 Refusing to converse further when you shared something emotionalpersonalSeven ways to address a partner who gives minimal effort to the relationshipAddressing a partner who gives minimal effort to the relationship can be a challenging but essential task for the health and longevity of the partnership Its crucial to approach this situation with sensitivity empathy and a willingness to work together to improve the relationship Heres how to do itKnow what you seekBefore addressing your partner take some time for selfreflection Consider your own needs feelings and expectations within the relationship Identify specific areas where you feel your partners effort is lacking and why these areas are important to youDo not rush into difficult conversationsTiming and setting are crucial for productive discussions Find a quiet private and relaxed environment where you can have an open and honest conversation without distractions or interruptions Choose a time when both you and your partner are calm and receptiveStop blaming start admittingApproach the conversation with empathy and understanding rather than blame Use I statements to express your feelings and needs For example say I feel unappreciated when we dont spend quality time together rather than You never make an effort Avoid placing blame or making accusations as this can lead to defensiveness and resistance Instead focus on finding solutions together and improving the relationship collaborativelyMention specific momentsProvide concrete examples of the behaviours or actions that make you feel your partner is not fully invested in the relationship Avoid making sweeping generalisations and instead focus on specific instances that concern youActive listeningAllow your partner to express their thoughts and feelings without interruption Listen actively seeking to understand their perspective and motivations Its possible that there are underlying reasons for their minimal effort such as personal stress or issues Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings by asking openended questions This can help you both gain deeper insights into each others needs and concernsSet clear expectationsClearly communicate your expectations for the relationship moving forward Be specific about what you need from your partner to feel more fulfilled and connected Ask your partner about their expectations as well shares Ruchi Ruuh ndash the relationship expert from the dating app BumbleEstablish boundariesDiscuss boundaries that are important to both of you These boundaries can help define roles responsibilities and personal space within the relationship which can reduce misunderstandings and conflictsDecoding why someone becomes a lsquobare minimumrsquo partnerThe sociocultural environment in which an individual is raised can significantly impact their behaviour in relationships remarks Swarupa Family upbringing and the role models they were exposed to during childhood shapes their expectations and perceptions of healthy relationshipsThe parenting style a person experienced during their childhood also plays a crucial role It can influence their communication patterns conflict resolution skills and overall relationship dynamicsIndividuals tend to model their behaviour after what they observe around them The way they see other couples functioning can set the standard for their own relationships sometimes leading to unhealthy patterns if those models are flawedPrevious relationships particularly those marked by trust issues or traumatic experiences can leave lasting emotional scars that affect ones ability to build healthy relationships in the future Thus empathy and understanding become crucial components in addressing the root causes of such behavioural issues in a partnerIssues such as depression anxiety or more severe conditions like schizophrenia can have a profound impact on an individuals behaviour in relationships For instance depression can lead to negative thinking patterns and an inclination to magnify problems even in situations where a partners intentions are positiveHow to not be a lsquobare minimumrsquo partner yourselfIt is important to understand that each persons needs and expectations in a relationship are unique The concept of being a lsquobare minimum partnerrsquo should be viewed through the lens of their spouse or partners perspective Its crucial for individuals to genuinely comprehend what their partner seeks in the relationship This understanding begins with open communication and transparencyOften partners feel unappreciated and this can lead to dissatisfaction in the relationship A simple compliment or acknowledgment can go a long way in strengthening the partnership informs SwarupaCouples should establish rituals like sitting together for meals or spending time together without distractions such as phones or work Understanding each others needs for intimacy both emotional and physical is crucial Couples should openly discuss their desires and work together to meet each others expectations in this regard