Dating an insecure partner? Relationship experts hold affirmations paramount

With the dating culture changing by the day heartbreaks have become rampant and so have the development of multiple insecurities right from a young age Infidelity gaslighting and ghosting are common woes of any romantic relationship Those subjected to these behaviours end up developing insecurities that seep into their next romantic connectionIf your partner has been cheated on by their previous love interest or has had an ugly breakup chances are they might have developed certain insecurities and will take time to trust you entirely Dating those with serious insecurities is not easy Their insecurities many times can even make you question your decision to date themExperts say it is essential to truly dive deep into understanding the root cause of your partnerrsquos insecurities and work on it togetherldquoInsecurities are a human trait and we all tend to get insecure at timesrdquo says Ruchi Ruuh psychologist and relationship counsellor Adding to this Dr Parth Nagda consultant psychiatry at Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital Navi Mumbai says ldquoMany people deal with insecurities to varying degrees A supportive and understanding partner can help them work through these challengesrdquoUnderstanding the causes of insecuritiesInsecurities can stem from a variety of factors Dysfunctional family dynamics childhood traumas bullying low selfesteem betrayal financial stress and social media influence are some reasons for insecurities in people Nagda says ldquoUsually itrsquos a combination of all the above causes as well and not just one causerdquoInsecurities due to previously unsuccessful relationships are common due to leftover emotional scars that erode confidence and trust Previous hurtful experiences can make one feel unworthy and unloved and create fear of repeating the same pain leading to heightened sensitivity and mistrust These insecurities negatively affect a new relationship by causing jealousy suspicion and a constant need for reassuranceHowever insecurities can develop not just due to past failed romantic relationships but also relationships with friends as well as family Similarly Ruuh also points out that insecurities can also stem from onersquos existing romantic relationship ldquoHow one is treated and made to feel in their relationship also adds to the common causes of insecuritiesrdquo she says Further poor communication where one feels unheard or misunderstood excessive jealousy and possessiveness power imbalances within the relationship influences from family or friends and disagreements on values and goals can all contribute to feelings of insecurityOver time if not addressed these insecurities can strain the relationship leading to misunderstandings conflicts and potentially even end the relationship Signs your partner is battling insecuritiesTo be able to identify signs of insecurity you must closely observe your partners actions and behaviour Both Ruuh and Nagda list some common signs that can indicate insecurity1 An excessive need for reassurance where they constantly seek validation in matters of appearance decisions or your feelings for them2 Jealousy or possessiveness can surface due to your interactions with others This can stem from low confidence or fear of abandonment 3 Avoiding discussion of certain topics sensitivity to criticism lack of selfconfidence or exhibiting perfectionist tendencies4 Partner engaging in constant selfdeprecation or negative selftalk can be a clear indicator of their insecurity5 Comparing themselves to others be it in terms of looks success or relationships is another sign6 Social withdrawal to avoid potential judgment and overdependency on you for selfworth are all behaviours that can be linked to underlying insecurities in your partnerActions and behaviours that will worsen your partnerrsquos insecuritiesIf you are constantly doing things that are not a part of the agreed relationship dynamic even after your partner has asked you to work on them or at the least voiced their concern it will definitely cause distress for your partnerHere are certain actions and behaviours that can exacerbate a partners insecurity1 Dismissing or belittling your partners feelings or concerns can intensify their insecurityMaking comparisons to others whether its about looks achievements or past relationships2 Being secretive hiding information or being overly protective of your privacy3 Engaging in excessive or inappropriate flirting with others even if it is harmless4 Repeatedly breaking promises or commitments5 Neglecting their emotional or physical needs6 Actively gaslighting them into accepting something that isnt the truth7 Failing to provide regular reassurance and affirmation of your love and commitmentWays to manage your partnerrsquos insecuritiesDealing with your partnerrsquos insecurity is crucial if you truly love them Your constant love and reassurance of that love will help them overcome their insecurities Here are a few things you must do to put your partnerrsquos mind at ease 1 Have an open and honest communication Provide them with a safe space to express their insecurities without judgements This will help them deal with it in a healthy way2 Discuss boundaries so that the expectations of both partners are met Make sure to have this discussion multiple times Sometimes couples therapy can help to negotiate and safely discuss these issues in a relationship3 Listen actively and empathetically This will make them feel heard and valued It will show that you truly care for them4 Provide verbal and physical affirmation and reassurance of your love and commitment from time to time5 Boost their selfesteem Help your partner build their selfesteem through positive reinforcement6 If insecurity is deeply rooted in your partner suggest them for couple or individual therapy7 Avoid actions or behaviours that can trigger insecurities and work together to minimise them8 Work towards building their trust in you Consistency reliability and transparency in your actions can help rebuild trust8 Encourage personal growth and selfimprovement to boost their selfconfidence Help your partner with stress management techniques that can aid in coping with their emotions and build resilienceRemember that addressing insecurities takes time and effort from both partners A healthy relationship is built on understanding and nurturing each others wellbeingAlso Read I thought I was the problem Why some people find it difficult to end a toxic relationship