Kusha Kapila: A partner who values your self-care is critical in a relationship

Guarding oneself is crucial for women in the realm of online dating in India A country that is neurotic on sociocultural norms presents unique challenges for women trying to find partners via online dating In a digital landscape where first impressions are often based on display images and bio practicing selfcare equips women to protect and exhibit their authentic selves in a bold mannerNavigating the complexities of Indian societal expectations in dating can be tricky To detangle the knots of the online dating scene in India Middaycom had a candid conversation with Kusha Kapila ndash An iconic Indian social media personality known for her quirky content on South Delhi culture relationships and more She is back as the host of Tinderrsquos Swipe Ride series and shares with us a handy guide to navigating online dating in IndiaHere are the edited excerpts from the interview1 Give us pro tips that women should keep in mind while venturing into dating onlineFeeling safe should be a top priority for women when theyrsquore dating online Itrsquos a whole new world out there and taking precautions is essential Its a good idea to do a quick background check on your match and look at their social media profiles to make sure theyre a genuine person and who they say they areChecking if you have any mutual friends is also like getting a little extra insider info This isnt stalking but rather a way to ensure the legitimacy of your match The photo verification feature on dating apps is something that you can rely on when it comes to putting yourself and your trust out there Dating apps also have a host of other safety features that allow you to block profiles or report unsolicited messages when you feel uncomfortableWhen meeting in person many of my friends follow safety measures such as informing someone about their plans sharing their live location having an emergency contact and carrying pepper spray These steps can really make a difference in ensuring a safe and positive dating experience2 What unique challenges do Indian women face when trying to express their individuality and authenticity on dating appsI think the main concern is the fear of perception It seems that if women show their true selves they might not be fully accepted by society and people might find it too overwhelming So not conforming to the traditional gender expectations and stereotypes that society has could be a challenge for Indian women using dating apps I think women just want to be understood as they truly are rather than being judged based on other peoples expectations3 How should women practice selfcare despite being deeply invested in their dateIn any situation selfcare should never take a back seat and you should always put yourself first Even when you like someone it shouldnt come at the cost of your selfworth or authentic self There arenrsquot any specific actions to follow but you shouldnt lose your own authentic real self Donrsquot stop doing things you enjoy just for yourself like going on a solo coffee date enjoying art alone or keeping up with selfcare routinesIn fact having a partner who values your selfcare is equally critical in a relationship In the midst of liking someone women also shouldnt try too hard to please a potential partner The initial stages of liking someone might feel like a head rush but as things settle down you realise that whether they stay or not you will always have yourself4 How to handle ghosting and not let it affect the way we approach potential partnersGhosting is a very raw nerve especially between me and my friends I feel itrsquos one of the worst things you can do to a person its a show of character and who you are as a person Ive read instances online where people think ghosting is okay and you should get with it But decency and kindness are not something we should ever get done withIts something that should always exist irrespective of anything I also read this tweet thread once that said If youre ghosting my friend and if you dont want to inform my friend at least inform me so that I am prepared to take care of my friend in the event of ghosting If you are ghosted you should know that it says so much more about the person and not so much about you Its about that persons inability to have an honest and open conversation which is so basic So I would say dont ghost and dont get ghosted5 How to ace the emoji gameTheres no fixed rule for the right number of emojis but if the conversation is enjoyable you can use as many as you want However I think its important to see how the other person responds to emojis If they prefer straightforward conversations thats one scenario but if theyre in the mood to share banter then its different So its a trial and error process but your true authentic self should still shine through6 In a society with traditional gender roles how do Indian women redefine dating norms in the digital ageI often tell my girlfriends If you like someone donrsquot wait for them to reach out go ahead and approach them The idea that men should initiate everything is a common belief but its just a preference Some women like it that way and its partly because of conditioning Personally I dont think you should wait for someone to ask you out based on their gender If you like someone gender shouldnt matterSo I think dating apps have brought in a lot of agency for women to choose their own connections Today if a woman wants something or wants to date someone she can make the first move They have also facilitated a lot more clarity for women on what they want or dont want from a partner or a relationship and find creative ways to express themselves for meaningful and authentic connections I see a growing trend of selfcare and fulfillment and the desire for healthier relationships and more intentional dating practices7 Share a failsafe pickup line that a woman must keep handyOne pickup line my friends have tried before is You look good but you look even better with me on a date I also think if someone has a dog in their picture it can be a great conversation starter8 Do Indian women have a secret society to share screenshots of the most cringeworthy messages they receive on dating appsIts not just women but men too However I feel that women do it more to watch out for each other and if someone is acting suss you kind of enjoy a good laugh9 Share your epic online dating fail that became a hilarious story at gatheringsMy epic online dating fail happened way before dating apps were a thing It was back when we would exchange pictures with potential boyfriends on Facebook I still remember this one incident where I was chatting with a guy who was also showing interest in my sister It turned into an epic fail because both of us were talking to him at the same time