Experts outline the role of family in seeking mental health care

In an explosive tellall with talk show queen Oprah Winfrey Meghan Markle the Duchess of Sussex revealed her struggles at the Buckingham Palace In particular she spoke about being denied access to therapy by her royal family despite having suicidal thoughts Her confession has prompted discussions about the role of family members in the therapeutic process mdash from emotional to financial support the immediate family plays a integral role in the quality of care received by the individual and influences even their chances of relapsing says Dr Nahid Dave a psychiatrist at Thought MattersFamily can play a crucial role in ensuring smoother treatmentFamily members often bring their own biases and prejudices to discussions about mental health In many cases the individual asking for help is directed to a family member who will try to force out the lsquowhyrsquo instead of understanding that the individual is struggling and needs help This gets further complicated when certain members of the family try to diagnose and prescribe their own remedies to what they perceive the problem as mdash often psychotherapy and medication are discouraged Such delays can not only cause the mental illness to worsen and become more deeprooted but also cause feelings of helplessness in the individual points out Dr Sagar Mundada a psychiatrist at Health Spring Dr Dave highlights a phrase called lsquoexpressed emotionsrsquo which describes the criticism and hostility sufferers receive regarding their mental illnessThis she says has been identified as the leading cause of relapses even in more severe psychotic disorders ldquoFamily members who constantly remind the individual of the emotional and financial burden their mental illness is causing or has caused the extended family unit are often directly responsible for such relapsesrdquo she clarifiesWhat you can doBe available Instead of compelling the sufferer to disclose all the lsquowhysrsquo and lsquohowsrsquo of their emotional state acknowledge that they are in need of help Express your availability and give them a patient ear says Dr Mundada ldquoGiven our societyrsquos negative perception of mental illness I was reluctant to seek help from a therapist for my anxiety until my mother urged me to She did not negate or invalidate the physical and emotional impacts and instead participated wholeheartedly in the therapy so that she could better understand how to support merdquo says marketing professional Kanchan Chhabria 24 She adds that her motherrsquos refusal to complain about the financial implications of her therapy played a crucial role in her treatmentKanchan Chhabria Rashida Khilawala and Dr Sagar MundadaDonrsquot make it about yourself It is common for family members to experience guilt or anxiety when a loved one discloses emotional distress Make sure you arenrsquot displacing these on himher mdash if you need help coping with your own emotional state address that independently advises Dr Dave ldquoWhen my marriage was falling apart I suggested that both my husband and I undergo counselling However this suggestion was invalidated by my husband and my inlaws and it got to a point where I was contemplating suicide Fortunately my parents were supportive of my decisionrdquo shares Rashida Khilawala 34 a marketing strategistAvoid comparing Resist the urge to draw comparisons with other friends family members or acquaintances The lsquonowrsquo of what your loved one is feeling is much more important than any theories or labels you may ascribe to themTreatment versus cure While certain disorders especially those that are diagnosed and treated at their onset can be cured other longstanding traumas or deepseated personality traits can potentially never completely be eliminated Understand and respect the same says Dr Dave Some days may be better than the others this does not negate the existence or severity of the mental illness she emphasisesWhat not to dogtgt Minimise or negate the individualrsquos sufferinggtgt Believe that you know exactly how to fix themgtgt Accuse himher of attentionseeking even acting out behaviours are cries for helpgtgt Label himher as weak or selfish gtgt Deny access to therapy andor medication as may be needed