Health experts highlight how to make a comeback after a life-altering incident

Finding yourself again after an upheaval is a daunting task The recent very public cancellation of Smriti Mandhanarsquos wedding to Palash Muchhal has brought this idea to the fore We reached out to two psychologists for guidance on how to return to focusing on your own mental wellbeing with the support of counsellors and loved ones and how to move ahead after any massive lifechanging momentFirst stepsMeghna Karia a Mumbaibased senior psychologist and psychotherapist reminds us ldquoSelfesteem will not be rebuilt overnight Viewing yourself from a different lens and walking through the transition takes timerdquo She advises first acknowledging onersquos feelings and validating emotions from grief to anger Secondly identify those who provide safe spaceMandhana and Palash Muchhal Pics courtesyFemale cricket Palash muchhal on InstagramldquoTalking to likeminded people and focusing on strengths and values which have served you earlier foster better selfesteemrdquo she says adding the necessity of an emotional outlet like journalling or a daily lsquobrain dumprsquo like taking a stroll following a selfcare routine and eating healthfully Recent visuals of Mandhana resuming training before the series with Sri Lanka are indicative of healthy first steps in the right directionMake small habitsKaria emphasises the importance of carving out an identity for oneself again which can easily go for a toss after a breakup the loss of a close one or an obstruction in onersquos careerFinding joy in everyday activities and connecting with loved ones helps you rebuild a sense of self Representation picsistockldquoContinue engaging with things and people that are important to you It shows you are worthy enough to live well despite the adversity Set intentions about what you want change your dressing styles to boost your confidence or come back to something simpler that you havenrsquot worn in a while further you may join a new community like a reading club to connect with new people Also consider trying out a new skill or recreational activityrdquo she recommendsSet boundariesThis is especially applicable to those with a significant social media identity which comes with its own expectations Swati Khanolkar clinical psychologist and director of In VivoMumbai Centre for REBT Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy points out ldquoDisengage if you can If you want to engage know the distinction between facts and opinions social media mostly contains biased opinions and unsound assumptionsrdquoKeep an eye out for harmful coping mechanisms like stresseating and overconsumptionMeanwhile Karia suggests limiting social media use ldquoRecurate feeds unfollow accounts with draining content and remind yourself of why you started your online page or portfoliordquo Beyond the Internet set clear boundaries in person too Both professionals caution against giving others the lsquostoryrsquo they want especially at the cost of your own mental healthReframe your mindsetFeeling shame or selfblame is common after upheavals such as a breakup or a missed career or educational opportunity Khanolkar prompts us to define relations and opportunities as valuable to oneself and not the other way aroundTake a social media break especially if you are often under scrutiny of the public eyeldquoYour personal worth canrsquot be diminished if a relationship or opportunity ceases to existrdquo Karia strongly suggests exercises including writing a selfcompassion letter and using grounding techniques ldquoBreathing exercises meditation or guided imagery will bring you back to the present so your thoughts donrsquot spiralrdquoNote unhealthy signsOften people spiral into unhealthy coping patterns Khanolkar lists a few signs to watch out for ldquoPeople operate at extremes either they go into denialmode and distract themselves by being busy or they let it consume themselves and stop engaging in regular liferdquoEngaging with your passions is crucial as it helps rediscover meaning and purposeKaria adds that someone experiencing intense loss or a shock can turn to substance abuse saying ldquoThis also includes excess caffeine consumption and using junk food as a goto space which in turn leads to weight gain and unhealthy relationships with foodrdquo It may be time to seek professional help if you experience bouts of anxiety loneliness prolonged emotional suppression or breakdowns hampering daily living Both recommend CBT Cognitive Behaviour Therapy especially REBTGive it timeMeghna Karia and Swati KhanolkarAbove all there is no specific duration for healing Khanolkar reveals ldquoHealthy recovery is not defined by time but by functionality Ask yourself Can you still engage with other parts of life and experience satisfaction despite the pain of your adversityrdquo Likewise Karia assures us that if you regulate your emotions well you will likely have greater insight into yourself and know what will serve you best