<p><img style="float: left;" title="Rahul da Cunha" src="http://images.mid-day.com/images/images/2025/apr/Rahul_e.jpg" alt="Rahul da Cunha" width="200" height="69" />They call me deranged, they call me delusional, they call me dysfunctional, they call me deadly, they call me dangerous.</p>
<p>I suppose to the world I am dangerous, but I am divine. We were trained to get our orders and never question&mdash;brainwashed you could say, but we all tend to be conditioned at an early age&mdash;but I am disillusioned, a little directionless. It&rsquo;s becoming an indiscriminate world.</p>
<p>You call me a terrorist&hellip; such a limiting negative term. I don&rsquo;t start out wanting to spread terror&mdash;I wanted to spread our beliefs, spread our message&mdash;that was the training, the education, my goal in life was to do good. We were men on a mission&hellip; our message to be conveyed through our mouths, while we travelled the world.</p>
<p>Somehow along the way our megaphone, our microphone became a machine gun. Mercenaries with no mercy.</p>
<p>It wasn&rsquo;t always this way. It was a profession what I was trained for, as a young men, I didn&rsquo;t wish to join the army, or navy or air force. I wanted to make a difference, like doctors make a difference with their medicine. I wished did too, with a message.</p>
<p>See, I went to school, okay a school that&rsquo;s a little different, call it a camp. Sure, we learnt about bombs, and bazookahs, and brainwashing, but we also learnt about peace and harmony, and philosophy and love. But somehow it all went wrong, we live in a world when things can be tuned differently, to suit peoples needs&mdash;that fine line between &ldquo;supposed good and misguided bad&rdquo;.</p>
<p>My batch, well classmates, we are all spread out, and then I began to hear about people I grew up with, studied with, trained with, having all joined, different terrorist outfits- Hamas, the Taliban, LeT, ISIS, Al Qaeda, some even in Boko Haram, in Africa.</p>
<p>And bombs were going off in public places, set off by these very people.</p>
<p>And then the &ldquo;Insta world&rdquo; entered the terrorism business too. Quick ways to attention, beheadings happening with live streamings, violence at full volume, extremism to capture maximum eyeballs&mdash;Insta terror at its deadliest.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Let&rsquo;s create anger and anguish in one fell swoop&rdquo;, &ldquo;Flying planes into two skyscapers is ingenious, people dying for their beliefs&rdquo;, was the clarion call.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Here&rsquo;s my thing, I didn&rsquo;t sign up for this, suicide bombing, slashing throats, bloodshed to make a point.</p>
<p>Call me weak, call me non-ruthless, call me a bit of an innocent among these mercenaries- in this world a man with a conscience is a casualty. Morals and ethics are meaningless &mdash;but I won&rsquo;t kill defenselesss people, what that Kasab did at the Taj, lining up innocents and shooting them at the back of the head&mdash; cowardice.</p>
<p>Or what the LeT did in Pahalagam, it escapes me what their motives were, to walk around a scenic, luscious beautiful meadow. And kill indiscriminately, to make a point, what point. I&rsquo;ll repeat&mdash;shooting people in the back of the head, the ultimate cowardice.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Call me deranged, call me delusional, call me dysfunctional, call me deadly, but I am disillusioned now. I have blood on my hands. I am an oxymoron, an &ldquo;extremist with ethics&rdquo;. A terrorist with a conscience.</p>
<p><strong><em>Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com</em></strong></p><p><script type="text/javascript">atOptions={'key':'d0ddb8ef8f1a62a8cdd22fac27fc5ea7','format':'iframe','height':90,'width':728,'params':{}};</script></p><p>
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Somehow along the way our megaphone, our microphone became a machine gun. Mercenaries with no mercy

I, Terrorist

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