Pyaar in the times of PR

Last week I was at a workshop in Kathmandu which put us up in a fancy hotel So there were flowers everywhere but especially my favourites lilies sitting full frontal in lush arrangementsAfter a particularly exhausting day needing a pickmeup I purloined one stalk off the conference roomrsquos flower arrangement Being a good middleclass person I justified my felony with ldquowho will notice if I take one stalk among the dozensrdquo Such a posh place surely chucks them at the first spot of discolouration And anyway is it really stealing if it stays on the premisesI plonked the lily in a glass by my bed It was nice to wake up to its imperious beauty and the strands of its fragrance I did feel a twinge when I saw the arrangement in the conference room still there lopsidedly missing a lily But what to do nowThat afternoon I ran to my room to get something A satiny wave of lily fragrance hit me All from one flower I wondered But it wasnrsquot just one flower On a table by the window sat three lilies Their varying heights testified that they previously inhabited the complicated flower arrangements in the common areas Someone in the housekeeping staff had evidently noticed my lily and put some more in my room I will never know who it was or what prompted this sweet and whimsical gesture Maybe itrsquos how they interpret their job of hospitality Maybe itrsquos how they see themselves as a person capable of creating pleasure for someone I felt a humble delightIt reminded me of a different encounter with a flower In 1999 a project took me to Lahore It being my fatherrsquos hometown it was both emotional and exciting to go We arrived late at night and fell into bed A knock woke us early morning A staff member stood at the door ldquoWe heard some guests have arrived from India We wanted to welcome you with our heartsrdquo he said proffering a small vase that held a single quite ordinary roseIrsquom aware that such stories hover on the edge of sentimentality But I believe they are to be cherished for they transcend the extremely narrow world view and relational interactions we struggle with today They are organic noninstrumental and most importantly expressions with a great confidence in human connection An act of pyaar in an era of PRFancy hotels shower us with solicitude as if luxury must pretend to be love then deluge us with calls for feedback and ratings They leave treats and notes to ensure Instagramming You get to look cool online they get PR Itrsquos a winwin as they say Two columns on a predefined relationship excel sheet Neatly balanced but never touching The personal is professionalOur biggest social terror it seems is to not be in the winwin spreadsheet imaginarium masquerading as equality You can write a Chat GPT resignation break up honestly over text tick the boxes of terms and connections and feel virtuous But feel good When there is no room for the surplus of emotion intangible yet plush as the fragrance of lilies to hold you beyond categories and transactionsYaniki main aur meri CV aksar yeh baatein karte hain ki I can buy myself flowers emphasis on buy emphasis on myself Lonely kyaParomita Vohra is an awardwinning Mumbaibased filmmaker writer and curator working with fiction and nonfiction Reach her at paromitavohramiddaycom